• Tom Jones allegedly insured his chest hair $7 million. Clauses regarding the natural aging process are not available.

• In other fake tan news, Lindsay Lohan's roll on stuff isn't working for her.

• Daily installment of Britney craziness. The basics: she's still crazy and her mom won't let enabler Adnan Ghalib in to see her.

• Cher will take over Celine Dion's show at the Caesar's Palace. The gays must be so relieved.

• Speaking of gay, scenes from movies that imply Sharon Stone is.

• Even Pink Is The New blog thinks the Super Bowl was incredible. Serves you right for watching the Puppy Bowl.

• Duncan Sheik is such nice guy — most people wouldn't even take the time to beat their sister up for performing at Pianos, let alone actually go and watch her. [Page Six]

• Tom Jones' face is at risk of falling off due to his excessive plastic surgery. Hey, Teri Hatcher, you might want to cancel those next twelve appointments. [MSNBC]

• Music bloggers: Just as morally depraved as real music journalists! [Marathonpacks]

• N'Sync fails to grasp the facts that 1) the world is round and 2)R. Kelly can't keep track of what kind of gun he has. Hey, no one said pop stars were bright. [Onion A.V. Club]

• In response to recent celebrities attacking their assistants with blackberries, Ghostface melted his bling sidekick down so it can't hurt anybody. [MTV]