This just in, from the AP:
Tommy Lee Jones will co-host the Nobel Peace Prize concert for former Vice President Al Gore – his roommmate at Harvard University – and representatives from the United Nations' climate change panel.
The accompanying stock picture is almost enough to make us regret not picking Harvard as our safety school. [via Mollygood]
• Sharon Stone accidentally confuses her dress with a used tampon.
• Jared Leto finally shares his weight loss secret: curry powder and mediocre romps in the sack.
• We never thought we'd actually say this, but Amanda Peet could actually (gulp) benefit from the overpriced services of vapid raisin-face Rachel Zoe.
• Ozzy Osbourne reminds us all you need is sex, drugs, rock n' roll and…Botox?
• A bikini clad Pamela Anderson shows us, Kid Rock why she's still worth sucker-punching Tommy Lee smack in the middle of Alicia Keys' performance at the VMA's for.
• Apparently, the downside to being one of the numerous third world street urchins adopted by Brangelina is you have to sleep in their bed. (Or wait, was that the upside?)
• Kid Rock and Tommy Lee are offered a chance to finish what they started during a $1 million fight at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino.
• Lindsay Lohan says she's staying in rehab; paparazzi around the world cry.
• Dominick Dunne aids the Goldmans in their morally comprised campaign for justice.
• There's a reason why Tom Ford's new cologne smells like ass.
• If there was any doubt about the state of New York theater, Tori Spelling and that guy she's always with are in talks to appear in Chicago on Broadway.
Now that Britney has officially crashed and burned, we can turn our attention to the other drama of the night, Kid Rock’s fight with Tommy Lee.
Fortunately for you, Tommy Lee offers a ranting incoherent explanation for what transpired on Tommy Lee.TV.
Read on to find out what really started the off-air fracas and to muse over the fact that rocker/sex-god Tommy Lee has the writing style of a 13 year-old girl. (Ellipses his).
Kid Rock and Tommy Lee duked it out last night in an anticlimactic "scuffle" over a woman comprised predominantly of silicone. Asked for his thoughts immediately following the kerfuffle, Lee replied, "What kind of guy comes up and punches someone when Alicia Keys is performing?" [Mollygood]
• Lindsay's 21st bday was so boring, she had to take all the exploitative photographs herself.
• Meanwhile, Salman Rushdie's rep attributes his client's impending divorce to 'too many chefs' in Padma Lakshmi's kitchen.
• Robert F. Kennedy 3rd gets freaky with a "heavyset girl" from Missy Elliott's entourage.
• Tracey Edmonds ditches Eddie Murphy after occasionally hearing or reading things that "made her wonder." Presumably, Edmonds is referring to rumors that Murphy fathered a child with Scary Spice then totally denied it. Either that or she finally watched Norbit.
Hey, remember back in 1995, when everyone was clambering to get their greedy little hands on videotapes of these two gorgeous celebrities having hot, passionate sex?
Yeah, neither do we.
• Pam Anderson and Tommy Lee are back on? Must be because he has a really big…heart.
• Lloyd Grove reverses ban on mentioning Paris Hilton, but needs a LAT byline to do it.
• Marc Jacobs checks himself back into rehab. This in no way affects the way we feel about our Spring MJ bag.
• Less than a week out of the clink, Lindsay Lohan's father is already dreaming up new and creative ways to exploit his daughter.
• Oprah's new school in Africa is more like a prison. Where's Bono when you need him?
• If Tribune Co. gives him the chance, Sam Zell promises not to break the company apart. Until he's ready to.
• Pam Anderson and Tommy Lee once had a threesome with a Pam doppelganger; Related: Kid Rock rethinks that whole divorce thing.
• Tom Cruise is the Jesus Christ of Scientology.
• Jared Leto, best known for his breakout role as brooding, high school burnout Jordan Catalano, is finally being recognized for his later work as an eye makeup-wearing douchebag.
• Beyonce is snubbed by those old geezers at the Academy, despite an impressively one-dimensional performance.
• Next Magazine revives Queerty blogger Andrew Bolonsky's feud with his nemesis, Ken Solby.
• The latest polls are in, and President George "Lame Duck" Bush is sitting ugly at a pitiful 34% approval rate.
• The legendary Valentino to possibly retire from the worlds of fashion, walking clothes-hangers, in July?
• The Streets’ Mike Skinner does something to eclipse Michael Jackson. Not surprisingly, it lands him in court. [NME]
• Kelly Rowland is “bittersweetly†pregnant. In other words … "oops!" [The Mirror]
• Not Watching American Idol can be quite detrimental to the average person's life. [Page Six]
• Finally someone calls Tommy Lee a perverted scumbag. On national television. [R&M]
• Christina Aguilera makes empty threats about being less slutty on her upcoming album. [Y!]
• Subtlety joins common sense and starfish tuna in the category “Things Jessica Simpson Doesn’t Know About†[AOL]
• Wait a minute … Tommy Lee knows how to write? [Page Six]
• Only Usher would have the gall to wear his aviators while doing charity work. [NYDN]
• If there's anyone who desperately needs a reality show to revive their career, it's washed up hair rockers like Jason Newsted. [MTV]
• Surprisingly, Eminem will not be playing himself in an upcoming movie. He will be playing a gun-toting maniac, though. [NME]
• Not like you care, but Ringo Starr supported Paul McCartney on his divorce all the way. Probably so he wouldn't feel so bad jerking off to that Heather Mills porn. [Jam!]
• When we saw there was a dating service called Millionaire Match we were really excited. Then we found out guys like Charlie Sheen peruse it, and … well, the excitement subdued. [Gatecrasher]
• Sarah Jessica Parker's 19th-century farmhouse is featured on an eight-page spread. Because it's not big or fancy … just simple plain Carrie Bradshaw style. [Page Six]
• Meredith Vieira admits that she's really not cut out to be a journalist. Yeah, Mer, we know — that's why you're going to Today and Katie Couric is going to CBS.
• Kabbalah is so over. For Britney Spears, the new religion is worshipping your baby. Well, at least it's still in the Jewish realm of things. [Britney Spears via PITNB]
• Despite his affection for his birthday suit, Tommy Lee has decided to be the first straight white musician to start a fashion line. [Page Six]
• V Cast subscribers can now watch Cartoon Network on their phone … if only those stoners that watch Adult Swim could figure it out, then Verizon would be in good shape. [Star Pulse]
• Matthew Broderick didn't realize that when he went to a childhood creativity luncheon, he would be asked about creativity. What he does know is that his son is gay. [Page Six]
• All it takes to be Tommy Lee's replacement is the knowledge of how to operate the "boobie" cam and a Starbucks resume. [SFG]
• The Italians worship Sophia Loren. They love her so much, they thought they'd give her a show at their museum just to point out that she's getting old. [Houston Chronicle]
• Calista Flockhart finally admits she had a little problem putting food in her mouth, chewing and swallowing. We think Nicole Richie looks a lot better. [The Mirror]
• Only in the UK would a guy put his mother-in-law up for sale. On eBay off all places. [Sun]
• Jay-Z is planning yet another Fade From Black, this time produced by Dr. Dre. Needless to say, it's causing a few ruffled feathers over at Def Jam, so, everyone watch your back on the video shoot. [Page Six]
• Wayne Coyne of The Flaming Lips trashes pop stars who sing about life experiences they've never actually had. All good — until he talks about Beyonce getting a bikini wax. [FMBQ]
• Need a new conversation piece in your apartment? Check out this one of a kind Johnny Cash portrait. We don't love it, but, that's probably because it's not Joaquin Phoenix enough. [EBay]
• Eminem's posse tried to beat up Tommy Lee for talkin' trash about Kid Rock. So, maybe we should just keep all the aging rockers out of Detroit. [Page Six]
• Neil Young switches tunes from singing about heroin use to releasing a "family film." And then, Courtney Love will open a daycare center. [Reuters]
• Anna Wintour gets an anglotastic day at Vogue. And we are supposed to figure out how this is different from any other day at Conde Nast? [WWD]
• Kate Beckinsale has "fat ass" days, in which she doesn't leave the house. Um, we don't think that's a very good role model for Nicole Richie to have right now. [Mirrorl
• What is it with guys thinking their sperm is worth millions of dollars? Nobody wants Vincent Gallo's tasteless, racist baby. At least not without the best part of baby making. [Page Six]
• We know that being a celebrity is oh so very hard, but Liz Hurley needs to shut it. There are people in Queens who can't even afford vacays, bitch. [The Scoop]
• How un-shocked are you that Tommy Lee's picking up chicks at the Adult Video News Awards? [Page Six]
• Paris Hilton's kinkajou may be delivered from starlet hell sooner than we thought. Turns out keeping the little guy is illegal in both California and New York and now PETA has joined in the "Free Baby Luv" movement. [NYP]
• How to pick up waitresses, by Tommy Lee: Stiff 'em when it's tip time, have them race to a roadie for compensation and offer them "compensation" of pot and partying with the tattooed tightwad. So far, no takers. [Lowdown]
• Extra's Mark McGrath has an original approach to getting exclusives on Pam Anderson: shack up with her. One glitch: If size matters, Tommy Lee definitely has him beat. [Page Six]
• Canned Desperate Housewives actor Page Kennedy is refuting rumors he got dumped for exposing himself on the set. Apparently such a reputation is damaging. [Sun-Times]
• Page Six isn't making friends with its Peter Braunstein coverage, getting rape victim advocacy groups in a tizzy over their near reveal of his victim's identity. But hey, Peter Braunstein's not making us friends either. [NYDN]
• Heidi Fleiss is getting back to her roots, only this time she'll be whoring out men to an all-female clientele. In Vegas. [People]
• The good news: Someone actually doesn't want to party with Jessica Simpson! The bad news: It's her TV husband Nick Lachey. To the despair of OK! Magazine, Lachey nixed a big birthday blowout, opting instead for a quiet dinner. [The Scoop]
• Brittany Murphy's stairwell cater waiter tryst didn't sit well with her agent at ICM or her manager — so they both dumped her. [Radar]
• Not that Julie Blackman did her job as a jury consultant, but she feels she's still entitled to $74,000 in unpaid legal bills from Martha Stewart. [NYDN]
Editorial Director
