Former teen star Tori Spelling will never know the success of 90210 again, but her Oxygen reality show with husband Dean McDermott, Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood, is actually performing … well. Thanks to a careful manipulation of ratings numbers, Tori claims Oxygen's best Nielsens for the 18-49 female audience in the channel's history. In total, just under 1 million tuned in Tuesday night to see if blondes have more fun. [NYP]
• Demi Moore continues to look great in seemingly unflattering poses on the cover of magazines that start with "V."
• There's a story about Kristin Cavallari removing her tattoo of her ex-bf's initials. But the real story is that there is a story about Kristin Cavallari. We're predicting she'll be on The Hills next season for Stephen-LC-Kristin love triangle renaissance.
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• Jerkass Russell Crowe mortifies Leo DiCaprio by sharing a rather unfortunate memory. Says Crowe: "You know, I worked with Leonardo when he was 17 on ‘The Quick and the Dead [1995]. He was a virgin, and he’d talk about that constantly." Thanks, guy!
• Tori Spelling and her hubby (whose name we can never remember) get all gussied up for Halloween. Tori's a witch, obvs, and her husband (Sean?) has apparently decided to go as K-Fed. The accidental lovechild looks ecstatic.
• Benicio Del Toro is a natural for the leading role of The Wolf Man remake, not to be confused with Teen Wolf, and definitely not to be confused with "sexy."
• Petra Nemcova endeavors to save the children; ends up scaring them away with her giant breasts instead.
• Have you heard? Jessica Alba's got this new thing where she only hangs out with people who look EXACTLY like Jessica Alba.
• Zac Efron dresses up as Katie Holmes for Halloween.
• And speaking of makeovers, Neal Boulton's apparently tired of people confusing him for a lesbian rocker circa 1993.
• If Gisele Bundchen was photographed picking her wedgie today, does that mean Bar Refaeli is going to be photographed doing the same thing tomorrow?
• Collagen injections are just like potato chips: you can't have just one. Unlike potato chips, however, if you don't get your fill you'll end up with a pursed pucker that resembles a "deflated balloon."
• Kid Rock and Tommy Lee are offered a chance to finish what they started during a $1 million fight at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino.
• Lindsay Lohan says she's staying in rehab; paparazzi around the world cry.
• Dominick Dunne aids the Goldmans in their morally comprised campaign for justice.
• There's a reason why Tom Ford's new cologne smells like ass.
• If there was any doubt about the state of New York theater, Tori Spelling and that guy she's always with are in talks to appear in Chicago on Broadway.
Tori Spelling’s new cheek bones look strangely familiar. At least she inherited a good doctor from her mom…Dr. 90210. [Dlisted]
• Lindsay Lohan is all up in Samantha Ronson's MySpace. The maybe-lezzie tells Ronson, "Babe, if I don't have you in my life then I should just go die. … I want to marry you and have children with you." Congratulations, girls! We hear the newly ordained Tori Spelling is available to oversee the nuptials.
• Diddy leaves a $500 tip on a bottle of vodka. Not because he was objectifying the cocktail waitress so much as because he thought she was "really, really hot."
• Rumor has it Boomer Esiason will be inheriting Don Imus' early-morning radio slot. Insiders say he's definitely got the broadcasting chops, but they're just "not sure he has the jowls."
• Jenna Jameson gives one lucky little girl the opportunity to find happiness and a successful porn career by going under the knife and re-emerging with giant, fake boobies.
• Charlie Sheen is engaged! Bitter ex-wife Denise Richards does her best impression of someone who's "genuinely happy for the two of them."
A tabloid's access to celebs often depends on whether their publicists are willing to schedule in a chat between soul waxings. Or at least that's People's M.O.
Over at Wenner rag Us Weekly, it's the paparazzi (also known as "friends" of celebs) who are the best sources. Which might explain why Us is so loose with its insider information when it comes to the lensmen it so heavily relies on.
So just how loose is the Us ship when it comes to the that prized asset called "access?" Perhaps the answer lies in a tale we like to call "Screwing Tori Spelling."
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• "Britney was drunk off her ass. She was completely trashed. She couldn't walk straight, she couldn't stand up straight. She was completely gone." Funny, as this describes only one evening in the life of America's pop queen.
• Michael Jackson returns to the U.S. to hit Las Vegas, home to a former molestation accuser and perhaps his latest attempt to earn an income.
• Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner baptize baby Violet, refuse to let thetans take over her mind.
• Britney Spears breaks things off with Paris Hilton, insists it's not personal.
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• George Clooney is on a "secret mission" to help those suffering in Darfur. Gossip Roger Friedman supposedly knew about it days ago but agreed to keep it a secret. Anything for a pal.
• Britney Spears' new man is music producer JR Rotem, who, it turns out, worked with soon-to-be ex-husb Kevin Federline.
• Liza's ex-husband David Gest finds a woman willing to lock lips.
• Paris Hilton defends BFF Britney. On MySpace.
• The "G" in D&G says no to gay parenting.
• Courtney Love finishes rehab, gets clean slate.
• Tori Spelling will be bringing a boy into the world to torment you with.
• Nikki Finke tells you which critics' picks you can ignore.
• Beyonce and Jay-Z's camps once again deny a wedding.
• The enemy "LR" in Lindsay Lohan's latest less-than-lucid BlackBerry missive is former assistant Lindsay Ratowsky. LR's new gig? Being Jessica Biel's assistant.
• Paris Hilton may be newly engaged, or she's using that huge rock to do finger exercises.
• Tori Spelling gets rid of of 90210 memorabilia taking up the spare bedroom.
• Dakota Fanning's VF spread – shot by Karl Lagerfeld – succeeds in making the tween actress even scarier.
Good news, fans of the crop of talented writers that include Jenna Jameson and Nicole Richie. There's another beach read in the midst, with plenty of stories you can relate to: Falling in love, getting pregnant with your first child, and spending your youth on a hit TV show that your stinking rich father produced. That's right gals and gays, Tori Spelling is putting the proverbial pen to paper.
Simon & Schuster will publish the book by the former Beverly Hills 90210 star and expectant mom, who is due this spring. The collection of recollections will be complied when "the baby is napping," Spelling tells USA Today, and will likely be done with the help of a ghostwriter.
The ghostwriter will certainly come in handy — especially when Tori's agent informs her that writing a memoir actually involves stringing verbs, nouns, and adjectives together to create anecdotes that require four, sometimes five sentences to explain.
• Boston University's students will now be able to get course credit for recording Saturday night's keg stands on their Razr. [Cinematical]
• Not content to own merely the gossipy Digg-like site Lipstick.com, Conde Nast picks up Reddit too. [TC]
• Fox 411's Roger Friedman originally reported (and sticks by) Studio 60's cancelation. But GE chief Bob Wright says he wants to see the series remain on air. [Fox 411]
• Newspaper circulation may be plummeting, but why would that worry analysts? [E&P]
• The amount of money MSLO is burning through was less this quarter. More good news: Martha gets a third season. [TV Week]
• Tori Spelling gets another TV deal. Though it's only for six episodes. And it's on Oxygen. [TV Week]
If we had a scoop that a C-List celeb was pregnant … say, Natalie Morales or Lisa Loeb … we would tell you. Even if we thought you might not care that much, we would take the eight minute to bang out a little song and dance about how happy/sorry we are for the soon-to-be parents.
But not Access Hollywood! They (claim to have) sat on their "Tori Spelling is Preggers" story for a whole month. "Out of respect for the family." Since when to celebrity reporters have that?!
Access Hollywood says Spelling confirmed to them in person a month ago that she was expecting all while smiling a lot and be really obnoxiously creepy.
Access Hollywood has been holding our tongues for weeks. But now we can finally confirm the good news that Tori Spelling is pregnant.
Access found out last month in Jamaica during the Access Hollywood Royal Plantation Celebrity Golf Tournament where Tori and husband Dean McDermott took part in the festivities.
Why, we wonder, can they just now confirm it? Because she hit the three month mark when it's safe to tell people? Or did they get wind that Page Six had the scoop? Since the Post quotes their source as "friends of the starlet" we can only assume it was not Access Hollywood who tipped them off. (We may also go so far as to say it may have been Tori's rep who turned around and told Access Hollywood to go ahead with the story? We're just speculating.)
Anyways, not a huge deal (more of a little conspiracy theory, really) but, it's just sort of obnoxious when reporters suck up to celebs to get an "exclusive," promise to make them look all good and gushy, and then wait a month on the story … only to publish it so they don't get scooped by another gossip column. Where's the loyalty to the readers?
You guys want to know the very moment Tori Spelling is with child, right? Ok, you probably don't … but this did just shave a whole third off everyone's designated bump-watching time.
Actress and husband Dean McDermott are expecting their first child [Access Hollywood]
TORI'S EXPECTING [Page Six]
When "Social Rank" first came out, listing socialites in order of importance (the Tins at the top, Jessica Joffe somewhere near the bottom) we had a good belly laugh. Then, we sort of forgot about the social rankers for awhile. Until we got the notice that they moved to socialiterank.com. So, of course, we had to check again.
And man are they full of some good tips. Take today's feature, for example, on how not to end up like Tori Spelling. The top five ways to preserve your money and dignity and never look poor include "be nice to people" and "go to the Learning Annex." But our favorite tip on how not to look poor is by far number 5: "don't look poor."
Designers are any socialite’s necessity. You wouldn’t believe how many socialites are actually on the poverty level by real blue-blood standards. But their relationship with fashion houses and racks of borrowed clothes dictate the opposite. Suck up to the designers, drop by their studios, bring them food and never physically look poor.
Those poor, poor impoverished socialites. It's really gotten pretty bad. Some of them are even working. And wearing Banana Republic! What's the world coming to?
Top Five Ways to Avoid a Tori-Like Money Disaster [Socialite Rank]
Editorial Director
