Uh oh! Everyone's poor and the holidays are coming up! How to get through the next few months, during which we all SIMPLY MUST celebrate the birth of God by spending money on each other, without inching even closer to the poorhouse? HERE COMES WAL-MART, BITCHES!
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Curbed has the latest scoop on every New York publications fave topics of the month: Brooklyn and Grocery stores.
Bonus, they even merge together into the same story like one big Observer on New York magazine orgy. Luckily there spawn will have a huge house and plenty of food. Cheap food at that.
I!ve just been told by a VERY reliable Brooklyn source (third generation owner of a certain eponymous hardware institution) that Trader Joe's is building in Brooklyn, although he wouldn't say where. He confirmed that it's not Fairway or Whole Foods, so no confusion possible there. Anyone have any ideas?
And with that, a whole new front in the Grocery Wars opens up.
And as annoying as those Park Slope "grups" and baby book clubbers are, we guarantee there won't be any such ridiculous sight as 200 people standing in line and stabbing each other for peanuts.
Rumor of the Day: TJ's in Brooklyn? [Curbed]
Earlier this month we relayed the story of an unhappy Trader Joe's customer, who braved the lines that wrap the circumference of Union Square's latest addition to snap up a Pie'ld High Apple Pie – which turned out to not be pie'ld so high. Today, our Boutique Grocery Store Correspondent files this update.
I returned to Trader Joe's to suggest they change the name of the Pil'd High Apple Pie. They were genuinely surprised and graciously refunded my money AND gave me another one for free! Nevermind that the free one was afflicted with the same condition but I managed to look the other way when cutting my first slice.
What has Whole Foods done for YOU lately?
They caused us to miss the beginning of Lost the other night thanks to their egregiously long lines during the dinner rush, but that's just us.
Earlier: Trader Joe's Scam Alert: $8 for 'regular plain' apple pie? Psshaw
Perhaps you bought into the hype of New York's first Trader Joe's. Us? We walked down 14th Street, saw the queue, laughed at those waiting to fill their baskets with Sundried Tomato Antipasto, and spent the evening at our new home, the Blue Owl. Not all of you, however, were as wise as our liquor-soaked liver and actually ventured in, leaving Whole Foods and Food Emporium in your high-octane foodie dust — and walking out of TJ's with complaints instead of Berry Mango Wholegrain Bran Muffins.
Dont buy the Pie'ld High Apple Pie- there is just air under that mountanous crust. I just returned mine bc paying $8 for a regular plain apple pie is ridiculous.
Especially when you could buy two Wasabe-Sake Mustards for that price.
• Hey, New York Times! Yeah, you. 1999 just called — they want their "crazy Chinese tattoos are fake" story back. [NYT]
• Tales of an ex-newspaper addict are really, really terrifying. We feel so … so disoriented. [New City]
• Because when you get three friends or more together, buying movies online for $20 is so much cheaper than going to the theater. [ABC]
• Those deceptive little Trader Joe's winos are really pushing the buck. [Gothamist]
• Oh, Jim Romenesko, you got us good! When we accidentally clicked on something that led us to a "Bonnie Fuller plagiarized James Frey" tag, we got so excited. And so totally punk'd. [Romenesko]
• Katie Couric to CBS, Merideth Viera to Today, and Mimi Rogers to The View. And we're sure Elizabeth Spiers is just eating up the potential for media/Wall Street crossover. [Gawker, Ad Age]
• David Carr may think that indie mags can't make it, but Jefferson Hack is going to try to hack it down unda' anyway. [WWD]
As the big wig grocers like Food Emporium, Whole Foods, and most recently, Trader Joe's move in, the smaller grocery stores of yesteryear are beginning to suffer.
Among the latest casualties is a D'Agostino market on University Place near Union Square, which is closing after two decades in that location.
The last A.& P. in Manhattan, at 70th Street and West End Avenue, shut its doors in January. Gristedes, which has 39 supermarkets in Manhattan, gave up a store it has had for 30 years at 62nd Street and Second Avenue after being outbid by Chase Bank …
The rents that Chase and Bank of America are wiling to pay just can't be met by the smaller supermarkets, and the grocery stores are being replaced by big banks.
We always knew that someday New Yorkers would just start eating the money.
Where Have All the Supermarkets Gone? [Terry Pristin, New York Times]
We are already way too drunk to make it to Union Square to check out Trader Joe's. Plus, we here that they have no wine (on St. Patty's of all days!) so we don't really see the point.
But some people (who take this "reporter" gig kind of seriously) trekked down to confront the geeks that work there and the dozens of crazies who've been waiting two years to shop at TJ's. And even though they don't have any booze (how can people cheer, dance, and sprint sober?) they do have a really cute cereal aisle.
We are a little concerned, however, that only "dozens" of people showed up for the opening rush, and half of them were bloggers. Then again, we heard there was some kind of parade or something … which might be a better way to spend your day than shopping for sesame crackers.
Trader Joe's: Morning Rush [Michael Calderone, The Real Estate]
We know you all are dancing for joy, and cancelling trips to visit your parents in Long Island because Trader Joe's is comin' to town. And the Daily News brings us what we are all dying to know: the top 10 buys from the newest (and only non-NYU) addition to Union Square.
• Trader Joe's Citrus Body Wash $2
• Mango Salsa, $2.29
• Pita Chips with Cinnamon & Sugar, $1.99
• Pound Plus Chocolate Bars, $3.49
• Joe's O's, $1.99
• Traditional Thai Lime and Chile Peanuts, $2.29
• Cereal Bars, $1.69
• Decadent Chocolate Frosting, $4.99
• Sake Wasabi Mustard, $2.99
• Sliced Papaya in White Grape Juice, $2.99
So, no need for road trips to Boston or lugging back shopping bags from the West Coast. There is now absolutely no reason to ever ever leave New York. Except to escape all those crazy Trader Joe's addicted freaks.
Gotta-haves from Trader Joe's [Julian Kesner, Daily News]
