For $12.95 and a promise not to try and make VoIP calls (please!), passengers on some American Airlines flights will get Internet access. This means you can Twitter during the flight about how much it sucks to pay $25 to check a bag.

When we spotted CNN International correspondent and after-hours Central Park cruiser Richard Quest taking a tour of the new Airbus A380's on-board showers, we thought, "How fitting." But then we spotted yet another phenomenal feature — for upper class — aboard the jumbo plane: a hidden store of enjoyable beverages revealed at the touch of a button. This is good news for Quest, who can quench his thirst without first showing a flight attendant his 30-day chip. It is also a place he could store his rope before running to the bathroom to put it on. [Flickr, via Cityfile]

Taking the bus is awful. Then again, flying commercial is generally an exercise in legal torture. And driving costs, like, $900 per block. So it made sense for Greyhound to compete with the Deltas and Continentals of the world, as well as your own person behind the wheel, with an ad campaign that read, "There's a reason you've never heard of 'bus rage.'" It was kind of clever, and at the very least nudged you in the direction of booking a motor coach ticket for your next trip. Then some guy in Canada cut the head off of another Greyhound passenger. The bus company has pulled the campaign.

From the airline that brought you "Happy Jetting," "Thanks for not flying on JetBlue," and "Flying is for pigeons," comes a new catchy tagline: "The blanket and pillow you asked for costs $7." [NYDN]

New York City Transit will not implement an ad campaign to fight subway groping that it already began working on after a study found some 10 percent of women who ride the subway are fondled by strangers.

While this has never happened to us, and we would like our status to remain that way, we've witnessed it, heard about it, and get creeped out by it. More so than the guy who always seems to be peeing at Herald Square.

So if the city was concerned enough to study the matter, how come they're not behind their own public awareness campaign to stop it?

Because of concerns these ads might actually encourage more groping.

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Where's a Mike Sitrick or a Mike Paul when you need one? JetBlue is in the market for a crisis management PR maestro to help resuscitate its image. The former media darling and god send to air travelers is now famous for imprisoning passengers on the runway and allegedly forcing a flier to spend a good chunk of his flight seated in the plane's lavatory. And then there's JetBlue's decision to get rid of the free headsets, and you've got all the makings for a PR nightmare. (Not to mention the airline's schlocky new ad campaign.)

So now JetBlue chief David Neeleman Dave Barger is shopping around for someone to re-color his brand's black eye. Except there's on itsy bitsy little problem, and it's one that the average commuter might be familiar with.

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We have a friend who doesn't mind picking arguments with the help. Cab drivers are the help, right? So yeah, there we were, stopping off in the West Village to meet some friends at a bar, and said friend went to pay the cab fare with his credit card. Except the driver, worried about losing a few pennies to the transaction's surcharge, sneakily disabled the credit card option immediately after it popped up on the screen. And once that little touch-screen button disappears, there's no going back, or so these cabbies tell us. He insisted that we had to tell him ahead of time that we were using a credit card, which is absolutely not true and, if we're going to get technical, likely illegal. Grudge-holding as our friend is, he refused to let the matter go, threatening not to pay the fare unless the driver let him use his credit card. The driver threatened to call 911 and involve the police; our friend said "make my day"; the driver pushed some buttons on his phone and, perhaps, only pretended to dial 911. While we sat there waiting for a perhaps imaginary cop to show up to mediate this matter, we finally came to our senses: If we just paid with cash and got out of the cab, we'd be drinking alcohol much sooner.

So that's what we did, and we were cocktailing in no time.

What's the point of this whole story? Apparently our friend is in the minority, because 87 percent of you are still paying your cab fares with cash, even though four-fifths of New York's cabs are credit card-equipped. Don't you people know how to make use of your corporate cards?

After a New York subway serial groper was arrested for the 53rd time, perhaps it's time to swap out that "See Something, Say Something" campaign with posters like these from a just-debuted ad campaign in Boston.

Oh, and maybe loosen those supposed terror-thwarting policies about videotaping in MTA spaces? Being able to film perv-y assailants might be, you know, a good thing.

(Click for larger version)

John F. Kennedy airport could be the next institution that runs on the eBay model. Hoping to ease air traffic congestion, the FAA is at last taking a stand on your needlessly delayed flights, while New York's Sen. Charles Shumer says, "All indications point to them proposing auctioning off slots at John F. Kennedy Airport." Not that any changes would be made until summer. And, somehow, the plan "will have minimal or no impact" on the actual number of flights. Cake tastes better when you can eat it, too.

Good news, freelancers! While you're sitting around, waiting to get paid for the 400 words you wrote last fall, rejoice: People with real jobs are totally screwed today. You see, the city is advising them to stay home, which means companies like ours – where, on any given day, half the staff stays home already – are the only ones at full productivity.

A New York City transit official said Wednesday that heavy rains have caused major disruptions in the subway system and urged riders to stay home.

New York Transit official Paul Fleuranges said in an interview with NY 1 that no subway line was unaffected and said "if you can stay home, please do so." Heavy rains overnight tapered off Wednesday morning.

Meanwhile, at a time like this, good luck reaching those city-sponsored cooling stations.

That Jitney ride putting a damper on your Hamptons weekend? Traffic too unruly that your desire to party at The Estate has suddenly disappeared? You're in luck: U.S. Helicopter, which you know for ferrying your time mismanagement butt to JFK and back in 8 minute, now offers a 35 minute jaunt to East Hampton Airport. Cost? A mere $799 each way, which you can swallow in a half hour of bottle service alone.

Congratulations, New York: You're the worst drivers in the entire country. And not in the way that turn-signal-avoiders in New Jersey finger the U-turners in Massachusetts as the worst. And not in the way the traffic-light-oblivious in California say drive-slow-sit-low types in Florida drivers are the crappiest. Because this time, there's hard evidence that New Yorkers are leading the class in making the roads unsafe for not-paying-attention pedestrians.

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• Importing foreigners to the island just got costlier. (PDF) Running the Staten Island Ferry is, like, expensive.

• Fat black guy pretends to be young Jewish girl. Or something. Either way, he's a scam artist. And totally our new best friend.

• First restaurant blew up. Second restaurant can barely survive restaurant industry.

• Wine fraud. But don't worry, nobody is diving into your dumpster.

• Yo quiero new inspectors. Health department brushes off blame for that whole Taco Bell/KFC rat fiasco.

• Gypsy brawl. Crystal ball didn't see it coming.

That obnoxious little gecko won't be bothering you on the George Washington Bridge, after all. Despite a $3.2 million cheque Geico was prepared to write the Port Authority to be the exclusive sponsor of the GWB and plaster it with 64-foot billboards, public outcry (like that of Fort Lee's mayor) has caused officials to renege on the sponsorship plans and keep the bridge ad-free, for now.

Commuters everwhere can rejoice: They've managed to avoid Geico reminding them that 15 minutes could save them 15 percent as they cross the GWB and only have to deal with their advertisements while watching the evening news, browsing CNN.com, updating their MySpace profiles, listening to Jack FM, or turning the corner to pull into their garage.

Just when you thought everyone was super excited about Geico giving the Port Authority $3 million to be the exclusive advertiser on the George Washington Bridge, some of those folks who insist on living west of the Hudson had to chime in with complaints. Like the mayor of Fort Lee, New Jersey.

Geico is plastering huge billboards on the GWB, unveiling the first one on Wedesnday — a 64-by-6-feet doozy that will sit above the Fort Lee tollbooths, with the Geico logo and the words "Drive safely." One might accurately suggest that the residents of the luxury condo buildings nearby might have a problem with it. Says Fort Lee mayor Jack Alter: "You are going to see quite a backlash about this."

Yes, you can see the backlash coming all the way from Edgewater: Luxury condo residents will only be happy with a more posh insurance company, like Leland West. Anything but that low rate gecko.