Sick of all the "psychojournalism" out there about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, gossip's great-great-grandmother, Liz Smith, has decided to take the bull by the horns and print a possibly true, definitely boring story about a conversation that may (or may not) have taken place between Pitt and his African cabbie.
After reading Smith's column, an excited Cindy Adams cried, "Thanks, Lizzie! I almost look sane by comparison!"
"KEITH Olbermann's one-night-stand nightmare is over," writes Page Six. "For the past year, the MSNBC blabbermouth has been tormented by the blog of a comely Cuban lass who claimed he courted her, bedded her, then told her to get lost. She even once complained about how unsatisfying their sex was."
Fortunately, nearly one full year after she first started chronicling her unsatisfying—and apparently "short"—love affair with Keith Olbermann [Ed: Nope, not weird at all!] promiscuous Cuban blogger "Karma Bites" claims she has, at long last, moved on.
The bitter babe, who calls herself Karma Bites, just posted a final entry saying she's letting bygones be bygones. "[I've] closed it down for good . . . It will not make headlines and it won't contain posts about certain newscasters."
Well…maybe just one last time.
Have you heard the latest?? Comedian Dane Cook is a flaming homosexual who may or may not have jumped to his death in New Zealand. Okay fine, maybe one or both of those rumors is false. Which is weird, cause we read it on the internets, and the information superhighway never lies.
Reports Page Six:
DANE Cook says the rumor mill about him is a hoot. "You haven't made it in Hollywood until someone says you're gay. I got that one a few years ago," the stud-muffin comic tells Cosmopolitan. "Last week, I got an e-mail asking me if I was dead. There was some Web site claiming that I'd died in New Zealand while waterfall jumping. The Internet is really informative - but it can also be just a huge bathroom wall."
Note to Dane Cook: Sorry about that whole "Unfunnyman Dane Cook died (literally, not just "bombed on stage") in New Zealand" joke. But, FYI, someone whose entire act can be aptly summed up with the words "toilet humor" might want to steer clear of any/all euphemisms involving a "huge bathroom wall."
Babies. Are they itty-bitty bundles of joy or just good old-fashioned life ruiners?
That, of course, depends entirely on your perspective. And, if you're an inexplicably successful, sunglasses-indoors wearing Hip Hopper with a wandering eye, odds are that (bastard) child support will end up costing you a fortune.
WHICH hip-hop legend is going to go broke paying child support? Besides his known baby mamas, seven months ago, a member of his entourage gave birth to another child of his, which was the last straw for his girlfriend.
Then again, as a wise man once said, "Mo' money, mo' problems." Which is really just a prescient way of saying, that daughter you never publicly acknowledged is a blessing in disguise.
Yesterday, we told you there was a rumor going around that Britney Spears and Kevin Federline were working through their differences and contemplating giving their marriage a second try.
And now comes further proof of a Britney/K-Fed reconciliation: Federline's ex-girlfriend, Shar Jackson, is seven weeks pregnant with his child.
Federline may have morning sickness, which could last for nine months when he reads this - but this is to tell him his on-again-off-again-and-for-sure-lately very on-again romance with Shar Jackson seems to have produced yet another baby between them. She’s into her seventh week, and at the instant I write this he doesn’t know. Star magazine is saying she’s hoping this brings them back together as a family. Ugh.
OK, we know what some of you are thinking. First of all, how is it that senile gossip columnist Cindy Adams has the scoop? And second, doesn't the fact that K-Fed is off impregnating other women mean he's not trying to weasel his way back into Britney Spears' joint checking account?
Our answers may surprise you.
Well, it's been exactly one day since Page Six accused Neal Boulton** of "brashly embracing and kissing" Jann Wenner outside the Time Warner Center, and naturally we're ready for an update. Fortunately for us (and, um, Neal's wife!) the Sixer's have an addendum in today's paper.
Turns out Boulton's been hospitalized—apparently something triggered his gag reflex—and he's spent last day or two distracting himself from dizzying bouts of nausea by cracking amazingly well-timed jokes about divorcing his wife.
All think considered, we think he's doing pretty well under the circumstances.
Earlier:
• Wenner & American Media's Cross-Species Man-Love
**who's "married, to a woman, with kids!"
We already told you about AMI's financial woes (WWD reports that AMI lost $147 million on pubs like Star, Weekly World News and the National Enquirer) and Bonnie Fuller's affinity for the "missionary" position. And now we're hearing there's about to be an involuntary exodus.
Word on the street is that Star's looking to overcome their financial woes by ripping a page out of Time Inc. and MTV's playbooks and cutting jobs to keep their expense accounts open.
"Star is going to fire a bunch of people [today], heads up!" writes a tipster. "Star is making cuts everywhere. I can't remember, but it was something like 19 positions! Although that could be off…Headcount reductions here they come."
But how many cuts? And will this affect the senior staffers or just the underpaid/overworked underlings?
CONTINUED »
In breaking unsubstantiated gossip, we're hearing that first daughter Jenna Bush is about to be secretly engaged to her longterm boyfriend (and onetime Karl Rove intern, Henry Hager). And, according to our tipster, you heard it here first, "even before the paparazzi breaks it!" Here's more about Jenna's (unconfirmed) weekend plans:
Jenna Bush is getting engaged this weekend…Henry Hager is on spring break and in South America visiting Jenna. His parents are coming this weekend and the Bushes' will be finishing up their South America tour and joining on their way back for the weekend….They want to get married on the ranch in Texas….can you imagine the security at that event?
We'll have a proper Whodunit for you later today, but first we had to make note of Page Six's thinly veiled "just asking" about a certain CNBC anchor:
WHICH TV news anchorwoman is about to get separated from her husband? He not only suspects she's been having an affair, he's been investigating and he's just about finished.
Is it just us, or is Maria Bartiromo suddenly having a Case of the Mondays?
Some of you may have noticed that Christina Aguilera's been looking slightly ghetto fabulous these days. And by "ghetto fabulous" we actually mean "overly made up and possibly on barbiturates." But it turns out there's a reason!
A Jossip spy writes in to tell us Xtina has been "coming to the studio drunk every day," which could very well explain why she's seemed so piqued lately. Spills our tattler:
The last day [Christina] came in she was drunk, and made a song about oral sex–and her giving it. It was recorded so she called her psychic Belinda Bentley and asked if it would leak and, if it did, would it ruin her career.
(Of course, her slightly beleaguered appearance could also be attributed to an unhealthy obsession with fake tanner, skintight transparent leotards, and enough makeup to drown a small Olsen, but we like the drunko theory, so we're going with the unsubstantiated tip.)
CONTINUED »
This is certainly been a good week for nicknames, hasn't it? And while "The Astro-Nut" is still our personal favorite, "Non-Stop Nancy" is definitely a close second.
Nancy, of course, refers to Nancy Pelosi, the first female Speaker of the House, who has recently been under fire (at least by the Republicans) for requesting a (gasp!) bigger plane than her predecessor.
In case you missed this, Pelosi was dissed by the Washington Times last week for apparently demanding that a luxe military plane escort her—as well as members of he administration—from one state to the next.
Since then, Republicans have managed to cast Pelosi as some sort of in-flight opportunist, (a source criticized Pelosi's request as "carte blanche for an aircraft any time,") coined the inconsiderate nickname, "Non-Stop Nancy" as a testament to her lavish demands, and even drew up this clever graphic:
And though Pelosi claims it was less about "showing off for her friends" and more about "security reasons," her political enemies just aren't buying it. Fortunately for the speaker, however, her pals 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue have finally decided to weigh in.
White House Press Secretary, Tony Snow, has dismissed the incident entirely, saying, "[t]his is a silly story, and I think it's been unfair to the speaker."
And so do we, considering the entire thing was evidently all at the insistence of Bill Livingood, House sergeant at arms.
"The fact that Speaker Pelosi lives in California compelled me to request an aircraft that is capable of making non-stop flights for security purposes, unless such an aircraft is unavailable," Livingood, who has been at his post for 11 years, said in a written statement.
"I regret that an issue that is exclusively considered and decided in a security context has evolved into a political issue," the statement said.
And we regret that, with the issue neatly put to rest, "Non-Stop Nancy" will soon be nothing more than a distant, hilarious memory…
Breaking:
In Touch is currently reporting that Britney Spears and Kevin Federline's marriage dissolved because of Brit's attraction to the female persuasion!
And not only that, they're also quoted an unnamed (but obvs super-close) source. who insists K-Fed was entirely unimpressed by Brit's girl-on-girl romps, and that he plans to use these alleged trysts against her in the custody battle for those kids he never really wanted.
Now, assuming we momentarily suspend our disbelief and buy that Britney has, indeed, been an extremely well-closeted lesbian for all these years.
Are we really to now understand that she's also a nymphomaniac who's often shacking up with no less than six ladies at a time? Or that K-Fed had absolutely zero interest whatsoever in his wife's fetish for girls and threesomes, but has massive interest in winning full custody of those boys he's never seen/visited?
Somehow, we're not buying it.
Of course, we're slightly jaded, so we figured we ought to take to the streets and find out the "average" person's reaction to this late-breaking news.
Girl #1: OMG, did you see the new cover of In Touch magazine?
Girl #2: Duh, I only read Us Weekly and The Economist! Why?
Girl #1: Because In Touch is reporting that Britney Spears is a TOTAL lesbo!
Girl #2: No!
Girl #1: Yes! Do you believe it?
Girl #2: No way!
Girl #1: Yeah, me neither.
Girl #2: Seriously, though, who could blame her? I'd rather sleep with a dozen girls than get into bed with K-Fed any day.
Hear that, In Touch? Looks like the general public ain't buying it either. Because if not wanting to do K-Fed makes you a lesbian, then consider us Rosie O'Donnell.
That said, if it's a "deeper connection" Brit's looking for, we suggest that she team up with the suddenly-single, always-grungy Cisco Adler. We hear that one's pretty ballsy.
Breaking news, everyone! Rumors are flying that New York Observer veteran Rebecca Dana has backed out of her commitment to the NYT in order to stay put at the tried and true offices of the Observer.
B&C reports:
Did Dana Ditch the Gray Lady to Stay In the Pink?
Last month, much buzz on the media beat centered on New York Observer TV scribe Rebecca Dana jumping to the New York Times. What started as a rumor on Radar.com turned into reality with this memo issued by the Times' Larry Ingrassia. Her start date was supposed to be this Monday (Jan. 29), but sources inside the paper say she's changed her mind and decided to stay at the Observer. Calls to Ingrassia and Dana have not been returned. Developing….
Where, oh where has our Rebecca Dana gone? Might she really have forsaken the New York Times in favor of Jared Kushner's pink, scented literary lovechild? (Perhaps!) Is it possible that she truly prefers Michael Calderone to Maureen Dowd? (Indeed!) Could it be that we are unhealthily obsessed with her every move? (Absolutely!)
Update: Gawker is reporting that Dana's offer at the Times was essentially revoked after she was overheard "jokingly" trash-talking Times' reporter Bill Carter. The new rumor is that Dana is renegotiating to keep her current gig at the NYO.
If anyone knows anything else, be sure to tip us off!
Earlier:
Oz. Pour: Rebecca Dana
Another day, and another reason why it sucks being a celebrity.
Think back, for a moment, to the Golden Globes, when Angelina Jolie was slammed by the press (including, the apparently tabloid-friendly NYT) for being less-than-friendly on the red carpet. Now, fast forward to a week or so later, when it surfaces that her disinterest in chatting it up with the press had more to do with her mom dying and less to do with her being a huge bitch.
And now, take a look at what's happening right now.
While all the gossip blogs make snarky comments about Bob Saget ogling the Olsen twins, it turns out Saget was merely unwinding with friends after a long day's work and, oh yeah, reeling from the news that his dad just passed away.
WHILE promoting his new DVD, "Farce of the Penguins," comic Bob Saget learned his father, Ben Saget, had passed away. He got the tragic news after taping Conan O'Brien's show Tuesday afternoon. Saget - the writer, director, and voice of the penguin Carl - finished his day's work with a promo party at Tenjune, which Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen attended. Sagat's rep told Page Six he flew back to L.A. yesterday morning to be with his mom.
Oops.
Wonder if there are any red-faced bloggers out there feeling a wee bit squeamish about those early morning "pedophile" jokes?
The Diddy and Sienna Miller saga continues, with the latest installment occurring at the already-over hotspot, Crobar.
Apparently, the two hit the so uncool-it's-almost-retro nightclub this past Saturday night, whereupon an overeager snapper took a forbidden picture of Diddy dirty-dancing with Sienna "Not His Wife, Or the Mother Of His 2 New Twins" Miller.
Page Six has learned that a Saturday night clubgoer at Crobar tried to take a photo of Combs and Miller dancing together. A security guard who entered with Diddy's entourage responded by taking the camera from her hand and confiscating the memory card.
"After the girl took the photo, Diddy didn't say or do anything," a witness said. "By the time he was 20 feet away, one of the security guys handed the camera to the bouncer, the bouncer handed it to the girl, and the memory card was gone."
"Diddy obviously doesn't want photos taken of him with Sienna," another source told us.
Joey Morrissey, who runs Crobar's Saturday night parties, confirmed Combs and Miller were there together. "They came in at 2 a.m. with security guards," he said. The two spent the next two hours "hanging out alone upstairs in VIP having drinks."
Natch, there's still no proof that nothing untoward is going on, but we're just hoping Diddy starts thinking more like a daddy and less like an oversexed mediocre rapper.
Update: Now we're hearing that Sienna just told Life Magazine that she “can’t wait” to have kids, explaining “I know I want that because I have way too much love to give." Hmm, too bad we can't think of any not-so-single dads who need a weekend baby-sitter to watch their newborn twins while they hits Crobar with a hard-partying (and extremely single) actress on Saturday nights…
Earlier:
Sienna Miller, Panty Ho
Diddy Ogles Jessica Biel While Her Ex, Derek Jeter, Is Off 'Ridin' Dirty' With Someone Else
Devoted American Idol fans will undoubtedly flip over rumors that Fox is looking to maintain its three judge format, while replacing its entertainingly drunk judge, Paula Abdul.
And as if that wasn't enough, there are already whispers regarding candidates lined up as potential replacements.
One of these far more presentable ladies is none other than Courtney Love herself, who recently grabbed headlines for her New Year's resolutions (sample: "sell the pony;" "stay pissed at the world"), her failure at online dating and the newly released details of her heroin-induced birth.
Here's the full report:
Courtney Love tells Usmagazine.com exclusively that American Idol wants her!
Love reveals to her favorite magazine Web site that Idol's executive producer Nigel Lythgoe called her office last week inquiring into whether she would be interested in sitting in as a judge on the hit FOX show.
"He called," Love tells Usmagazine.com. "He was wondering if I was interested. I thought it was kind of weird but brilliant."
Clearly, we think Love would be the only practical choice, seeing as her consummate professionalism and recent drug history dictates a strict adherence to amphetamines and other so-called uppers, rather than Paula's continued reliance on Debbie Downer type substances, such as alcohol and painkillers.
So Courtney—best of luck to you in the auditions, and remember: Simon's the asshole, Randy's the sometimes-fat one and you're the one who's so drugged up you don't even realize how badly all of the contestants suck.
Based purely on circumstantial photographic evidence, it looks as though Adam "DJ AM" Goldstein is already making good on his promise to find himself a brand new celebrity to bang.
Nicole Richie's headline-grabbing ex was recently spotted cozying up to Mandy Moore, despite reports that Moore and Wilmer Valderamma were attempting a reconciliation. Although Moore seems an unlikely suspect, the news doesn't exactly come as a surprise in light of a recent Page Six item that had DJ AM desperate to find his next famous squeeze:
[DJ AM] doesn't miss his ex-girlfriend, the anorexic and pill-popping Nicole Richie. But he does miss her fame. Goldstein has been quietly asking friends in Los Angeles to "set him up with someone who has a name," said a friend. "Basically, he knows he can charge a lot more when he is attached to a famous girlfriend. His rates have had to go way down since he split up with Nicole."
Well, you've got to give the boy some credit. After all, most of us have already crashed and burned with our New Year's Resolutions.
