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If you opened The New York Times or the Post this morning, you may have noticed this ad for the Candie’s Foundation’s “America, Wake Up” PSA campaign, which aims to prevent teenage pregnancy and promote discussion among teenagers and young adults.

What you don't know is that the same full-page ad, featuring pictures of Jamie Lynn Spears and Bristol Palin, was supposed to be in today's USA Today issue, but was pulled editors for fear of controversy:

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Paul B. Flynn, who helped launch USA Today in 1982, died yesterday just after his 73rd birthday. Sad news, but there is some silver lining. As with all old newspaper types, there is a hilariously misogynistic story that Flynn leaves behind:

He harkened back to his earlier days in the newspaper business when he was interviewing a young lady for a job. It wasn't going well.

Trying to get a fix on the woman's personality, Flynn asked her to describe the kinkiest thing she had ever done.

"Paul was thinking of something quirky or funny," recalled East, who later succeeded Flynn as head of the foundation. "She was thinking in a very different way and told him about it."

If you're wondering why the gift shops at LaGuardia seem a little less snow globe and keychain oriented and a little more hellbent on getting you to watch The O'Reilly Factor, it's not your Murdoch-induced paranoia or the Ambien kicking in preemptively. Brands like USA Today, CNBC and Fox News are outsourcing their brand names to retail shops in airport lounges that exclusively feature items bearing the corporate watermark.

Two possible reasons for the baffling business tactic:

1) The decline in viewership, for both television and glossies, has media corporations looking to expand their names into wholesale businesses as a way to raise revenue and

2) September 11th:

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ABC and USA Today will join forces to cover an unprecedented "50 States in 50 Days" tour, leading up to the election on Nov. 4th. Considering this is the 3rd collaboration from the television and newspaper companies, whose previous works include Iraq: Where Things Stand, and Katrina: Where Things Stand, you can probably take a shot at the title of this media blitzkrieg. The majority of ABC.com and USATODAY.com will "share news content and produce complementary interactive features" (read: cross-posting!), while the television and print versions, respectively, will feature the cast of Good Morning America and Nightline visiting your state, and USA chronicling….whatever it is they chronicle: each state every day (two on Mondays and Fridays!).

Smell gimmicky to you too? Indeed, it sounds just like CNN embedding "all-platform reporters" around the country as another way of saying "downsizing."

"Teaming up" with an adjunct news source is just another way of saying "we're going to be rehashing the same minutiae with the least possible manpower." Though please keep America updated on what Rhode Island thinks of the election for 24 hours. That's sure to be fascinating.

Beginning today, former USA Today reporter Toni Locy, now a professor at West Virginia University, must pay a $500 daily fine for refusing to name the sources in an article about ex-"person of interest" Steven Hatfill, the former Army bioweapons scientist tied to the the 2001 anthrax attacks. Going one crazy step further, the judge insisted Locy make the payments without any support from her bosses, friends, or anonymous supporters. [AFP]

Harsh truth time: Facebook will be more popular than MySpace. It has better page layout, a wealthier base and more potential. MySpace is still good for music though.

But these harsh truths doesn’t stop USA Today from running a puff piece on the pretense that MySpace still stands a chance:

The goal is to make MySpace the starting point for people on the Internet, where they can check in on the activities of friends, peruse e-mail, get the latest on news and weather, and post their favorite photos and videos. "We're offering one place where people are in control," [Chris] DeWolfe coolly explains at an L.A. restaurant near MySpace's offices, cradling a cocktail.

Thanks, but no thanks. Our starting point on the internet doesn’t have flash ads.

MEDIA, BEAT Ending a 24-year career at USA Today, media reporter Peter Johnson is leaving the paper, via buyout. What's next, the Times not being able to afford David Carr? [TVN]

Because it wouldn't be the holiday season without job cuts at big media companies, USA Today is getting a jump start on stuffing stockings with coal: They're slashing 45 newsroom jobs, or 9 percent of its 500-ish editorial staff. Reason? Despite the header you read on its green Money section, the paper isn't making it like it used to.

"Employees with more than 15 years experience or fewer than five years of online experience will be eligible for a buyout, USA Today Editor-in-Chief Ken Paulson said yesterday in a memo to the staff." Translation: If you're an old, stodgy newspaper veteran, get out! And if you're an old, stodgy online veteran, please stay. [Bloomberg]

GLEE.com, a social networking site for “gays, lesbians and everyone else” is a great place to advertise jobs. But recruiting for the military? Not so much.

Despite the lack of “qualified” candidates who use GLEE.com, the Army had been advertising on the site as part of its $6.5 million Internet campaign this year. When USA Today asked the army about ads, Maj. Michael Baptista, advertising branch chief for the Army National Guard, said, “This is the first I've heard about it.”

Just a heads up to Baptista: by “everyone else,” GLEE.com is probably not referring to ex-high school football stars with nothing going on since graduating five years ago.

[Queerty]

"GANNETT-OWNED USA TODAY PLANS TO open a store in New York's LaGuardia Airport," reports MediaPost. "Store inventory will display the newspaper's colors–lifestyle products in purple, sports in red, financial goods in green and news in blue. No word on what the actual products will be, but there is a USA Today-branded sudoku game in the works." Wouldn't want the CNBC-brand airport stores to bogart all the hoopla with their Jim Cramer bobbleheads.

Know what's a great business to try and get out of? Magazine publishing! Felix Dennis is doing it. Brant Publishing is doing it. Hell, even Time Inc. is trying to get out of this hell hole. So what in god's name are USA Today and the Wall Street Journal thinking trying to get in on this business?

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In USA Today, Craig Wilson writes a hilarious, heartfelt piece about his undying hatred of interns. His reasons for disliking them include their overeager desire to impress, including showing up bright-eyed and bushy-tailed at 9:30am, something, writes Wilson, "no self-respecting journalist" would ever do.

Frankly, we think this is the best thing we've seen all week. And it's with a great deal of restraint that we refrain ourselves from simply copying/pasting the rant in its entirety, and merely providing you with a gripping sample paragraph:

Last year I was invited to a meet-the-summer-interns lunch. We went around the table introducing ourselves, giving our history at the paper. When it was my turn, I mentioned that they were all probably in second or third grade when I started at USA TODAY.

One of the interns immediately interrupted. She said she wasn't born when I started at the newspaper, let alone in second grade. I wanted to lean across the conference table and smack her, but I once read in the employee handbook that we're not allowed to do that, so I pulled myself together, gave her a faint smile and never spoke to her again. Seemed only fair.

Of course, the truth is, Wilson's article only refers to a small overzealous sect of the overall unpaid intern population. Because, as many of you may recall, internships generally tend to involve a fair amount of showing up late, staring absently into space, and occasionally taking a break from obsessively checking your email/Facebook/MySpace accounts long enough to fetch everyone coffee.

Speaking of which, where in the hell is Intern Joseph with that iced mocha latté?

After the harpooning Katie Couric went through this week after Nielsen revealed there are fewer people watching her newscast now than ever before (okay, we're exaggerating … a little), it's only fair that she gets to tell her side of things. So whether it was CBS News spinster Gil Schwartz (doubtful) or Katie's personal publicist Matt Hiltzik who pitched USA Today for a rebound story, it was a worthwhile move: Industry scribe Peter Johnson is running her spun-positive soundbites today. (To be fair, they were cherry picked from his Q&A.)

They include such gems as "I knew this was going to be a big challenge," and the this-should-be-on-YouTube "To get out of your comfort zone is not always comfortable."

So why is Johnson's column where Katie's camp chose to voice her humbling acknowledgment that CBS brass isn't pleased with her? Perhaps because they've been on Katie's up and up in the past.

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• HX puts on its latex glove, grabs the Crisco, and snaps up what's left of independent gay media.

• David Zinczenko launches Men's Health Kazakhstan – the Rodale title's 36th international edition – by takin the new editor to see Borat.

• Joining fellow NYT scribe David Carr in the "this just in — from weeks ago" arena, Kit Seelye scrapes the mud off an old WSJ story.

• Outgoing USA Today reporters gets in a parting snub.

• The guide to being an insta-YouTube cewebrity newsman.

• Columbia: Decent j-school, bad neighbors.

• Did you wait in the rain for your Borat tix? Here's who to blame.

If USA Today is known for anything, it is by far for their professionalism in reporting. Just look at this in-the-know, highly researched article on the the lives of bloggers.

Bloggers and other amateur journalists have some of the same problems any amateurs do: They make up the rules as they go, and they run the risk of screwing up and hurting someone. But because blogging isn't their day job, they have little risk — they aren't going to be fired.

Yeah. That's pretty expert reporting right there. God, we just love looking to seasoned reporters for their insight and meaningful opinions. Whenever we don't understand our own lives, we go to them for the answers. And these folks are always so wise. And correct. And we are ever so grateful the moron amateur bloggers haven't yet replaced these all-knowing experts. So grateful.

Technology empowers amateur journalism — for better or worse [Andrew Kantor, USA Today]

Ok, before you get your panties in a bunch and start thinking that we're heading towards some sick bikini wax joke, relax. We're just here to rip on this USA Today headline. (And Natalie Portman a little.)

As if the whole "Natalie Portman bald chick" thing wasn't so six months ago, this lame article about hanging out with the low profile celeb in The Mandarin Hotel is supposed to convey how bad-ass she is. How she's a serious actor, who doesn't do drugs, and had her head shaved in one scene shot, and loves her friends blah, blah.

And how do they convey this "not a pixie" image?

Portman is a pixie in a short-sleeved, dark blue frilly blouse, skintight jeans and silver ballerina flats, her eyes heavily made up for a day of press.

USA should've let Portman read the final copy. Her Harvard eyes may have snapped up that little snafu.

Portman's bald truth: She's no pixie [Donna Freydkin, USA TODAY]

From the USA Today website:

How great that Elizabeth Vargas' baby is inspiring progressive recovery for Bob Woodruff and Doug Vogt. Unlike Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's baby, who is just increasing the death rate of late-season deer.

Welcome news at ABC: Vargas is pregnant [USA Today Blog]
Earlier: The numbers are bad, the numbers are bad!

Some may call USA Today's Photoshopping of this AP photo of Condi Rice unethical, but nobody's yet asked the important question: Was she wearing Ferragmo boots at the time?

Demonizing Condi [Michelle Malkin]
Rice won't rule out U.S. troops in Iraq in 10 years [USA Today]

USA Today takes its McNewspaper treatment of real news and applies it to its patent-pending bite-size formula to a realm so much more deserving: the summer season of celebrity.

From the out and proud (Whitney and Bobby Brown) to the quiet and removed (Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie), Karen Thomas has you covered. They've also made use of color-coding to break it down a bit easier for you, which makes learning about Ben Affleck's silent sequel to Bennifer 1.0 so much more convenient.

The effect on his and Jennifer Garner's images:

Really good … He's a politician in the making, and they look like Mr. and Mrs. Clean Image. They're out and about, saying to the paparazzi, 'Here we are if you want to catch us.' It is very savvy. Very hip. They get my vote for the cleanest PR campaign.

The way he manages his PR is about as close to "savvy" and "hip" as Affleck can hope for, so a congratulations are in order.

Invite Jack Shafer to the after-party! USA Today claims they've reduced the number of anonymous sources in its articles by 75 precent. Editor Ken Paulson, who took over in April 2004, says they're down from about a dozen a week or just three or four.

Paulson also must be informed at the end of each day about each case of an anonymous source being used.

At the time he instituted the policy, Paulson created the position of standards editor, someone who tracks the anonymous sources in the paper each day. He said that person, Adell Crowe, has tabulated 62 instances of anonymous sourcing since the beginning of the year, an average of less than four per week.

It's just a shame fewer and fewer people are reading newspapers these days, isn't it? Just when you can start trusting them again. Sorta. Kinda. Not really.