Usher to put his career on hold until he can figure out a way to make music without cheating on his pregnant wife. [Stereohyped]
• Lindsay Lohan hires a private detective to dig up dirt on her ex-boyfriend Calum Best. Because when you're Lindsay Lohan, finding out that your boyfriend cheated on you with two coke-addled prostitutes and photographed the entire thing apparently isn't enough.
• Tired of all the negative publicity, Usher finally gets around to marrying that fiancee he's been sleeping with on the side.
• Mena Suvari pulls a Britney, sans fried chicken.
• The price of Ted Koppel's superfluous starter home? $2.3 million. The image of a banana-hammock clad Ted Koppel swimming laps in his indoor pool? Priceless.
• Mayor Bloomberg reports for jury duty, tells bailiff at county clerk's office "You ask me about that sexual harassment suit and I'll have your boss' boss' boss fired."
• "Which network news executive had to confess to cheating on his partner after he caught hepatitis?" asks Gatecrasher, who adds, "he had to tell the 50 party guests whose food he prepared by hand the day before he was diagnosed."
• Lindsay Lohan's bodyguard reportedly turns down $500K and an opportunity to tell everyone what a fucked-up crack whore she really is.
• Meanwhile, Linds gets some advice from someone with impeccable morals. "Do I think it's a good move for [Lindsay] to sell her story?" asked Money Honey "Bank Skank" Maria Bartiromo. "I think as much as people are interested in what she has to say, she should capitalize on it." Neat!
• In addition to confirming her invisible pregnancy, Nicole Richie also admits to taking Vicodin for her premenstrual cramps. Before the get-out-of-jail fetus, obvs.
• Two days prior to having her bodyguard beat up photog Andrew Deetz, Britney Spears yelled, "'I am going to kill you!" and then attacked him with profanities.
• Tokyo is in for a disappointing surprise.
• Is it possible Usher was lying when he said "everything is fine" between himself and his jilted/hospitalized fiancee?
• Usher insists that the nuptials are still on track despite ample evidence to the contrary (i.e. he's a philandering mama's boy who traumatized his fiancee by canceling his wedding just two days ago).
• If you missed Beyonce's fall (and the subsequent "I'm okay—wait, no I'm not" stumble) here's your chance to watch it all over again. And again. And again. She's so self-conscious!
• Actress Anne Hathaway ditches her own Hampton's premiere (of Becoming Jane) in favor of an embarrassing public fight with her boyfriend. She then recovers/overcompernsates by showing up "all smiles" to the "rager" of an after-party.
• In a misguided attempt to defend Anne's honor, Cinema Society founder Andrew Saffir says, "If [Anne] seemed emotional it was because she had not yet seen the film in its entirety, and she found even the little she watched of the opening very moving." Riiiiight.
• Judith Giuliani is an opportunistic, puppy-killing homewrecker…or is she?
• Star Jones sometimes wishes she was a white guy instead of a formerly obese black woman.
• The Times' David Pogue loves his new iPhone so much, it's almost as though he has an iBook deal. Oh, wait.
• Words cannot describe Paris Hilton's unnaturally tan face, but an episode of Seinfeld can! Specifically, the one where Kramer falls asleep in the tanning salon on the same day he's supposed to meet his (black) girlfriend's parents for the first time, and then when the dad lays eyes on him, he shakes his head, and says, "I don't see no white boy. I see a damned fool." Yeah, Paris' face is like that.
• Usher's lifelong fear of commitment rears its ugly head the day before he was supposed to get married.
• In addition to being a spoiled brat who cries uncontrollably during interviews and music video shoots, Britney Spears is also rocking the beer belly. Not cool, y'all.
• Lindsay Lohan fired before she even had the chance to show up late (and hungover) to set.
• Which paparazzo's dick do we have to suck to get our picture in the society pages?
• Shocker! In Brit's new music video, she's wearing…a bad wig and too-tight closed.
• Usher's pissy cease and desist letter makes his (former) biggest fan wonder what she ever saw in him, anyway.
• Naomi Campbell finds a way to make money off of her her penchant for throwing phones at people.
• Gossip columnist Claudia Cohen had a $60 million estate. Meanwhile, we're still holding out for dental.
• Arianna Huffington fractures her heel walking over a metal grate while out for a stroll with Charlie Rose. Tough break, Huffington. Why don't you blog about it?
• Because nothing says rip-roaring good time like getting spit on by Amy "Desperately Needs Rehab" Winehouse.
• OMG, former N'Syncer (and current gay poster boy) Lance Bass, out on the town with his brand-new model boyfriend! Meanwhile, is it just us, or does Lance always look kind of, well, lost?
• In between applying for waitressing jobs and taking off all of her clubs, Britney Spears actually finds time to shoot a music video.
• Unable to tamper with her ankle monitoring bracelet and not content to simply sit back and sip on Shirley Temples, Lindsay Lohan has apparently figured out the secret to a happy, sober existence: total Ecstasy.
• Either that or LiLo's holed up in her room getting high on whippets, chugging cold meds, and screaming "Mo' Tussin!"
• An unleashed Suri Cruise terrorized a Barnes & Nobles on Monday, throwing books at Katie Holmes' feet and generally pissing off all the bookish singletons looking for love in the self-help aisle.
• Ryan Seacrest needs a new beard, preferably one who doesn't say things like, "Beer doesn't give you a yeast infection, right?" or start singing, "I'm not wearing pantyhose."
• Usher finds a clever way to alienate his biggest and only fan.
• Gwen Stefani sues Forever 21 for making even crappier clothes than usual.
• Vivica A. Fox didn't just wake up one morning, pound a few drinks and decide to get behind the wheel. Racism made her do it!
• Bruce Willis apparently enjoys flirting with twenty-something model types while his daughter, Rumer watches. Kinky!
• Usher knocks up his fiancee, Tameka Foster. Naturally, Usher's mom, and ex-manager (thanks to Foster!) must be understandably thrilled.
• Despite being physically attractive and sounding like a phone sex operator, Ivanka Trump may nonetheless have some trouble finding a suitor willing to accept The Donald as an inlaw.
• Brittany Murphy claims she and her ex-boyfriend are being stalked by a mysterious kidnapper who occasionally moonlights as a U.S. immigration authorities worker.
• Brooklyn State Assembly member apparently refuses to accept his big, gay son.
• Mischa Barton copes with reports of her kid sister's drug problem by smoking copious amounts of reefer and stuffing her face with Pirate's Booty.
• Anna Nicole's former lesbian lover-slash-assistant joins Judge Larry "Waterworks" Seidlin in denouncing Howard K. Stern as a slimy enabler.
• Usher's mom doesn't approve of her son's fiance, Tameeka Foster, which is doubly harsh considering that maid-bashing Naomi Campbell was her predecessor.
• On a related note, Naomi Campbell is supposedly dating Terrence Howard, much to the chagrin of his fragile personal assistant.
• Russell Crowe asks Nicole Kidman about her husband's "courageous" rehabilitation efforts, refuses to ask her anything about Tom Cruise's overt sexuality or Keith Urban's video ho's.
• New York Supreme Court upholds the 70-year ban on dancing in NYC restaurants, bars; Kevin Bacon slated to re-try the case with the help of flamboyant dance moves and Kenny Loggins.
• To the disappointment of 12 people, Usher won't be performing on Broadway anymore. [People]
• That's right folks, your wildest dreams have come true: Menudo is returning. Better brush up on your Spanish. And boy band fantasies. [Billboard]
• Excuse us for allowing our music snobbery to surface but: Brandon Flowers isn't fit to string Green Day's guitars. Thank you. [NME]
• Hey Sara Evans, a little piece of advice: guys watch porn. [NYDN]
• Usher does his best to erase the memory of Joey Fatone on Broadway. [Hello!]
• Scott Storch goes from being prominent hip-hop producer to having a feud with Christina Aguilera. That must do wonders for his street cred. [Gatecrasher]
• Gasp! Kelly Clarkson dances on a bar. Page Six does not approve. (Mainly because she didn't show any tit.) [Page Six]
• Justin Timberlake spews hate on the less-attractive and less-successful Taylor Hicks. JT probably just has a crush. [MSNBC]
• Just in case you've forgotten: Cher is the scariest 60 year old ever. [TMZ]
• Eve is creating some space between herself and her sonnuva African dictator boyfriend. [R&M]
• Really? We’d have thought that Jennifer Lopez would have been able to play an alcoholic psycopath pretty well. [E!]
• Man, if we studied Tupac Shakur in high school, we’d have so gone to class more often. [Much Music]
• Just think, Usher buys condoms in the wee hours of the morning at Duane Reade. Just like us! Er … just like you! [Page Six]
• What’s just as annoying as stepping in dog shit and hangovers? Why, James Blunt of course. [AOL]
• The funny thing is, we’d much rather read Taylor Hicks’ memoirs than anything Ann Coulter spews. [UPI]
• Wait a minute … Tommy Lee knows how to write? [Page Six]
• Only Usher would have the gall to wear his aviators while doing charity work. [NYDN]
• If there's anyone who desperately needs a reality show to revive their career, it's washed up hair rockers like Jason Newsted. [MTV]
• Surprisingly, Eminem will not be playing himself in an upcoming movie. He will be playing a gun-toting maniac, though. [NME]
• Not like you care, but Ringo Starr supported Paul McCartney on his divorce all the way. Probably so he wouldn't feel so bad jerking off to that Heather Mills porn. [Jam!]
• Mariah Carey can't decide whether or not it would be a good idea for her to have children. We're pretty sure it's not. [Liz Smith]
• Usher bites the hand that photographs him — but probably not before demanding a few good shots of his abs. [Lowdown]
• Participate in public embarrassment through Aziz Anzari's "Shittiest Mixtape" contest. There's no satisfaction like watching someone walk through Washington Square park blasting the Dawson's Creek theme song. [Aziz is Bored]
• Aging rockers bitch and moan about the state of music today and music piracy; unfortunately, nobody has the attention span to hear them out. They're too busy downloading Britney Spears onto their MySpace profiles. [R&M]
• Master P just can't catch a break — first he loses Dancing with the Stars, and how he's in court for gun possession charges. In all fairness, that show makes us wanna' go Cheney on everyone, too. [TMZ]
• If he won't go to rehab, can Pete Doherty just tattoo "don't stick anymore needles in me after this one" on his arm? [People]
• Kid Rock, unfazed by his recent sex tape scandal, is back in New York spreading his own brand of sleaze — with Hulk Hogan's daughter. We've never had a better excuse for staying in on Saturday night. [Page Six]
This week, the celebrity theme has gone from suing Jossip to being a cheap bastard.
Among the cheapest of the cheap are Paris Hilton and Jennifer Aniston (huge shocker there) who knocked the other celebs out of the way so they could grab as much free crap as possible.
Paris' spree was before the Globes:.
In less than 30 minutes upon arriving at the Silver Spoons Hollywood Buffet – a pre-Golden Globes swag spree – she had gathered several pairs of flip-flops, Via Spiga shoes, three string bikinis from Cea Swimwear, a Sugar lip gloss, a strawberry-scented Voluspa candle, a Soul Revival black tube dress, and a slew of purses, including a $360 Scout turquoise crocodile baguette. "I like green. It's hot," she exclaimed when she spotted it.
Was Jen trying to sooth her blues when she shoved her way up to the front of the free stuff line, grabbing up all the free Sundance trinkets?
Jennifer Aniston was the very first celebrity to snatch up free products at the "Marquee Hospitality Suite" at the Sundance Film Festival the other night, grabbing about $5,000 worth of Lia Sophia Black Diamond Collection jewelry and a Kooba bag.
Other cheap-ass celebs include Kate Capshaw, Usher, and Rita Wilson, who don't tip at restaurants or nail salons (but, at least their not beating up their manicurists, which is good.)
Even we don't tip anybody a measly $2 — and that's how much we make an hour!
LATEST TIPS ON STINGY CELEBS [Page Six]
ANISTON IN FREEBIES FRENZY [Page Six]
Paris: Free Stuff? She'll Take 20! [People]
• Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like Usher's? [Page Six]
• Mobster/actor who plays a mobster, Lilo Brancato Jr. gets his day in court. [The Scoop]
• He swore he wouldn't do it, but on Howard Stern's show, the “f bombs†fell faster than his daughter's clothes. [Seattle Times]
• Don't bring food anywhere near Anna Wintour, or she'll roll her eyes at you. No, Anna, Please! Anything but the eye roll. [Lowdown]
• Pete Doherty can erase his tattoos, but not his James Frey days. [AP News]
• American Media's Star and Celebrity Living are on David Pecker's shit list after completely missing Nick Lachey and Jessica's Simpson's split scoop, which went to Us Weekly. While Star's "Jessica finally pregnant!" and Celebrity Living's "New house and a baby!" issues hit newsstands, father Joe was issuing the separation announcement. [Page Six]
• Desperate Housewives dismissal Page Kennedy claims he wasn't ousted from the ABC set for exposing himself, but Usher's rep Tamar Juda might beg to differ. [R&M]
• Spotting Jayson Blair outside the New York Times building is right up there with spotting Lauren Weisberger outside 4 Times Square. [R&M]
• We've devoted so much ink to the breakup of Kathy Griffin and Matt Moline that we can barely muster tears of joy upon hearing the D-list duo are still a pair. Even though they've filed for the divorce, the red carpet critic and her "soul mate" are still sleeping and mugging for the camera together. [PerezHilton]
• If Pete Doherty can't have Kate Moss, at the very least he can have her rehab clinic. [Page Six]
• Sienna Miller has finally figured out how to keep an eye on beau Jude Law: have him do a cameo in her new movie Factory Girl. [Page Six]
• Paris Hilton might still be ignoring Nicole Richie, but that's not keeping her, Stavros Niarchos, Nicky Hilton and Kevin Connelly from hitting up Stereo, where Richie's fiance DJ AM was spinning. [PerezHilton]
• Lindsay Lohan's latest? Johnny Knoxville. [Lowdown]
• Looks like The Firm chief Jeff Kwatinetz blew his chance at getting a J. Lo fragrance basket for Christmas. The uber agent stood up the diva at scheduled meetings not once, but twice. [Page Six]
Since we spent yesterday helping Usher spread his sage advice for snagging ladies, we thought it only appropriate to pass along his tiptop tips for making successful movies.
"I just kind of try to look at the pros: Thanksgiving weekend; ages 5 to 80 can see this film; I'm taking my shirt off in the film."
– Usher, on whether he thinks his movie In the Mix will have a strong opening weekend
That is: Exploit your sex appeal on a holiday where even the mothers will be looking for an excuse to to escape their families.
They Said What? Straight Talk from the Stars [People]
Related: Usher's tips for tit
You would never turn to Jennifer Lopez for, say, advice on how to find a husband. Or Jennifer Aniston on keeping a man. Or Al Reynolds on playing it straight.
But how to woo a lady? Usher's definitely your man, especially after all he learned at Sean Combs' orgies. Speaking to Time magazine, which only gave him some ink to plug In The Mix, the shorty advises:
"Women love compliments, you know what I mean? Buy her a drink," he said. "Talk to her about whatever it is that she wants to talk about. As long as you keep her laughing, you got it."
And you thought just anybody could muster the talent to be a playboy.
Editorial Director
