No word on whether producers will smartly send this film is straight to DVD, but Disaster Movie, the new flick starring Kim Kardashian, Carmen Electra, and Vanessa Minnillo, is sure to perform as well as its title suggests. [HT]
• Rihanna gets photographed slinking around with rumored castrato Robin Thicke.
• Pictures of the first meeting between Dina Lohan and Lindsay's new beau are, well, awkward to say the least. Riley looks damn uncomfortable, Lindsay looks preoccupied with the photogs and Dina looks focused on the task at hand: Convincing the waiter to slip a little pinch of champagne into her glass of orange juice.
• Is Amy Winehouse finally getting her life together? (Spoiler: No.)
• Julia Roberts pulls an Ashley Olsen, parks her suburban soccer-mom vehicle in a handicapped spot.
• Nice try, hot tub fornicator Vanessa Minnillo! But that fancy straw boater hat isn't fooling anyone into thinking you're a class-act.
"OK!, which is the American version of a British magazine," writes the NY Times, "has acknowledged that it occasionally pays for cover stories, mostly in efforts to build relationships with the celebrities it covers," [Ed: think overpaying for Eva Longoria's snoozeworthy nuptials.] "But while paying for the rights to exclusive stories and photos has become increasingly common among OK!’s American competitors, buying photos to protect them from being published is more unusual and ethically dubious."
And by "ethically dubious," what the Times actually means is "awesome blackmail potential."
"If OK! did pay for the images in order to repress them," the Grey Lady continues, "then the magazine now holds compromising photos of two celebrities it will want to cover in the future. The situation raises questions about what sort of access to the celebrities the magazine may have negotiated in return for the favor."
Hang on, did somebody say "access?"
• Kelly Clarkson's record company woes can all be explained by this confrontation with Clive Davis, in which Clarkson screamed, "You're 80. You're not supposed to like my album." Somebody get this girl a muzzle!
• After spending millions on the exclusive rights to Eva Longoria's wedding snoretacular, OK! mag pays $400,000 for steamy sex photos of Nick and Vanny…that they have no intention of ever running. Related: OK! magazine officially has the dumbest accountant ever.
• Britney Spears is slowly, methodically cutting "anyone who can even remotely tolerate her" out her life.
• Not long after he was overheard ordering a "the fruitiest" beer in the joint, Kevin Spacey was spotted "dirty dancing" with himself. Yep, that one's as straight as they come.
• More pics of Nick and Vanny enjoying a private moment in a very public hot tub.
• Katie Holmes has old lady hands.
• Christina Aguilera is officially preggers, unofficially bragging that her tiny, unborn fetus is "way cuter" than Nicole Richie's tiny, unborn fetus.
• Lindsay Lohan does a "bend and snap" while losing her brother at a beach party.
• Orlando Bloom rocks the Hitler 'stache.
• The gloved one ditches his gig at a Vegas casino, complaining "Everyone there was over 21."
• Sources say Life & Style has graphic pics of Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo getting it on while vacationing in Mexico. Naturally, the couple has threatened to sue anyone who publishes the pictures, which is pretty harsh language indeed, especially coming from two people who just finished screwing in an outdoor hot tub.
• A-Rod's wife wears a "tight-fitting, white tank top" emblazoned with a profanity to yesterday's Yankees game, and in doing so, traumatizes a 10-year old boy who's only used to hearing the f-bomb screamed from the bleachers.
• Kim Kardashian and Kelly Osbourne are apparently starring in The Simple Life 3.
The paparazzi agency X17 is notorious for a few things. Among them: hiring ex-gang members as photogs, owners Brandy and Francois Navarre getting rich off an under-compensated staff, and going after celebrity bloggers who they accuse of "stealing" their images. Funny, 'cause now X17 is the one being accused of stealing photos. CONTINUED »
• Whoopi Goldberg is reportedly being tapped to fill Rosie's slot on The View? 'Yes!' says Star magazine, which means it's as good as true unsubstantiated hearsay.
• Random R&B singer Ne-Yo's theory on homosexuality: "You're nobody 'til they think you're gay." In that case, this Ne-Yo character must be as straight as they come!
• Meanwhile, at the Tony awards, David Hyde Pierce remembers to thank everyone and his lover.
• Wait, Melissa Joan Hart takes her small, generically cute child to Disneyland? Sounds like a job for…the paparazzi!
• Vanessa Minnillo rehired by crappy clothing line despite posing for a "distubring" impromptu photo session with her fave chef's knife.
• Amy Winehouse gets her hubby's name tattooed on her chest, just six inches (give or take) above her left nipple. Er, heart.
Now which Vanessa Minnillo photos are you more interested in: The ones inside the new issue of Lucky that hits newsstands June 12, or these photos of her playing knives with Lindsay Lohan?
Related: One of her looks, worth $4,500, can be yours if you visit a certain magazine's website!
After four years at TRL, Nick Lachey's girlfriend is giving it up. Vanessa Minnillo is leaving the MTV stalwart, voluntarily, to pursue her next career goal — though what it is, she has "no idea." Smarty!
Well, actually, she is a smarty now that TRL is doing the "L" part of its gimmick only a couple times per week now and is about to undergo a huge revamp, which will likely leave Damien Fahey playing the new Carson Daly, looking after a new slew of young VJs, embedding YouTube clips into the broadcast, and looking for any angle to get out of there.
• Star Jones allowed back on television, but only in a role she's practiced.
• Maybe they're moving to the Dakota, maybe they're not — but TomKat won't be separated in Shreveport, La.
• Former Miss Teen USA Vanessa Minillo will help The Donald choose the next crackwhore named Miss USA.
• Russell Simmons is A-OK with Djimon Hounsou having sloppy Kimora seconds.
• Matthew McConaughey has been showing off his V on the beach all for a movie role.
• Barack Obama walked into a room.
• Hollywood, circa 2037 … is gross.
CONTINUED »
• Ryan Reynolds dumps fiance Alanis Morissette for refusing to go down on him in a theater.
• Vanessa Minnillo drops the F bomb again after Nick Lachey is approached by a J. Simp lookalike.
• And here's what it feels like to accidentally ogle Denise Richards' vagina.
• Gabrielle Union wants the world to know she and Derek Jeter aren't dating; they're just fuckbuddies, like Diddy and Sienna Miller.
• Bill Gates denies that all PC users are "dullards." Then a third grade bully screams, 'Only nerds use words like "dullards," GEEK!'
• Sienna Miller shoves a photog for catching her with her pants on.
• Kate Moss' friends sing "Happy Birthday" to her in the lavatory, where she spent the majority of her bday "powdering her nose."
• Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minillo to stop living in sin??
• Today, Widdicombe has us racking our brains to figure out which "travel magazine expert on a popular daytime TV show" has been pulling a Paula Abdul, a.k.a. boozing it up at the press junkets.
• Dedicated actress Sienna Miller became a super-skinny boozehound…all in the name of nailing a role, of course.
• Bonnie Fuller to "inspire" Hunter College grads today while Janice Min hopes to corrupt upstanding Ivy League writers/editors over at the Columbia Specator.
• The Daily News promised Paris Hilton would perform at the Plumm; Page Six can't wait to gloat after Paris is a no-show.
Happy New Year from Vanessa Minnillo, who made sure that we had more to talk about than how really, really gay Ryan Seacrest's countdown broadcast was.
• Actually we would say this is one of the only normal things we've read about Lindsay Lohan doing in a while. You have to protect your man from those triflin' Hollywood girls. Come on, we've seen Entourage. [Page Six]
• Unlike the very un-normal tales from Lindsay's dad's prison cell. We are so creeped out. [Lowdown]
• Nick Lachey is bringing Vanessa Minnillo home to meet his parents. They are just thrilled he found a girl who knows that chickens don't swim. [Scoop]
• Orlando Bloom is now free to casually date whoever he wants. We hear Scarlett Johansson is free. [Mollygood]
• Anderson Cooper has a really big secret: he worked for the CIA. And we're pretty sure that's a secret that's ok to keep … since you really aren't supposed to tell anyone. [Radar]
From yesterday's TRL, the thought bubbles you didn't see:
Vanessa: I hope he's not pissed I tried to kiss him in public the other day.
Nick: If any of my 13-year-old fans saw those paparazzi shots of us together, I'm gonna smack that bitch. My appeal is that I'm hot — and single.
Vanessa: I'm so glad producers didn't replace me with La La like they did when Jessica Simpson came by the show. I can't believe we're on stage together, pretending to just be friends. I can't wait to TXT all my girlfriends about this very moment!
Nick: Does this microphone make me look fat?
• Us Weekly backpaddles from its "Where's Suri?" coverstory and caves to Katie Holmes' assertion that her baby girl is "doing great." Add in reported sightings of Suri with Katie during their Telluride holiday and it's a full-blown Janice Min about-face. [TMZ]
• With Jessica Simpson likely to host the Teen Choice Awards, what's a girl to do when Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo are nominees? [People]
• Finally a fashion juggernaut of a couple splitting, and it's not the Spades. [Page Six]
• Paris and Nicole's feud is good for ratings: E! has ordered up another season of The Simple Life for '07. [E!]
• Foxy Brown misses court date, escapes judge's wrath. [Lowdown]
• Star has a clever way of insinuating Hollywood's starlets got lipo without actually saying as much. [Popbytes]
• We've always heard MTV VJ and Entertainment Tonight hostess Vanessa Minnillo was a sweetie, but ever since that Nick Lachey came into the picture, she's developed a diva attitude. And producers ain't having it. [Gawker]
• Katie Couric will be galavanting around the nation to debut her new serious take on news. Only this time she'll have to shake hands instead of stay guarded inside the Today show enclosure at 30 Rock. [Showbuzz]
• Yesterday's Upper East Side townhouse explosion? That was one way to "leave the house only if I am dead." [NYT]
• Last night about 150 people showed up outside the New York Times offices on West 43rd to protest against .. The Funny Pages, we hope. [Public Eye, Michelle Malkin]
• MyTimes goes public! In beta! [FBNY]
• The Fourth of July went off with a bang… well, a few bangs.
• Meanwhile, a lil' chubby Lil' Kim got her independence, minus the house arrest bit of course.
• In another form of independence, Jesse Oxfeld was whacked from Gawker. But we polled and found that y'all could care less.
• Us Weekly tries to hide its problems with the missing Suri Cruise. But even that can't make the nausea of seeing the Teri Hatcher and Ryan Seacrest photo (and subsequent scandal) subside.
• Ken Lay passed away and Barbara Walters finds a golden nugget of a segue.
• A near ass-whooping is prevented to our disappointment. At least we had a drunk Vanessa Minnillo dishing on Nick Lachey and making out with Perez Hilton to make up for it.
• The New York Observer loses onerver to Conde Nast Portfolio. But the real media excitement came when Star visited the plastic surgeon.
It's a sad day when Mario Lavandeira is at the center of Page Six's lead gossip item, but that was the case this Independence Day. Graciously recycled from Mario/Perez Hilton's own website, picture it: Stereo, Friday night. Mario holding court over his own banquette when Entertainment Tonight reporter-slash-MTV VJ-slash-Nick Lachey girlfriend Vanessa Minnillo and her entourage plop down next to him. Vanessa hits the dance floor. "Total cocksucker" Tyson Beckford gets up in her shit, unwelcomed. Mario The Protector intervenes, words (but not punches) are thrown down. If it weren't for Stereo owner Mike Satsky breaking up the fight, we'd have one bruised Cuban, one screaming VJ, and one escorted actor. And while we would have preferred that scenario much more, the real disappointment is that amid all the photos of Mario and Vanessa, there's not one of Taye's antics. Let down.
BEASTLY BEHAVIOR IN CHELSEA [Page Six]
Vanessa Speaks! [Perez Hilton]
Editorial Director
