It's no secret that couture models (a.k.a. glorified clothes-hangers) are putting their malnourished bodies under dangerous amounts of strain due to a steady regimen of chain-smoking, compulsive exercising and liquid dieting, as well as the misguided impression that a protruding ribcage is this season's "must-have accessory."
But now, a gripping ad campaign in the current issue of Harper's Bazaar showcases a new, heretofore undetected health risk for the elite supermodel: jaundiced yellow skin.
So far, this latest affliction (deemed "beyond glam" by fashion insiders) seems confined to high-fashion runway walkers and the pretentious designers who dress them, but there's no telling how soon it will spread to the pages of more lowbrow fashion advertisements, including (but not limited to) ads for Target, Contempo Casual, Dress Barn, H&M, and Sarah Jessica Parker's bargain basement line, "Bitten."
When reached for comment, bored, disinterested sounding fashionista types staunchly defended the new look, rolling their eyes and explaining in curt, matter-of-fact tones that, "Sallow is the new white."
More evidence of this shocking/controversial phenomenon, after the jump.
• It must be hard to calculate the revenues of the child porn industry without actually, well, indulging in child porn. [WSJ]
• Oprah will not be hosting Jen Aniston and Vince Vaughn's wedding, and she'll use her show to make that damn clear. [Popsugar]
• One of the NYPD's best crime fighters is responsible for the load of shit your just stepped in. [NYT]
• Man hands aren't just for Seinfeld plotlines. [Cityrag]
• The outlandish Versace manse is now the outlandish Versace hotel. [ABC]
• Playing Charlene Tilton in the Dallas remake? Not Jessica Simpson, but Scarlett Johansson. [Awful Truth]
Reports Alex Kuczynski from inside Versace's revamped (and "tone downed," courtesy Donatella) flagship, where Medusa's role has apparently been downgraded.
But the sales clerk could not have been nicer, seizing us as we walked in the front door and giving us a rundown of all the new accessories on the first floor. He was especially proud of the new Canyon purse, which is broad and eerily snoutlike. He cheerfully demonstrated how it opens up flat, so a woman can see everything in it at once.
This makes very practical sense, but the purse is unwieldy. I hoisted it on my arm, and I felt like I was carrying a very expensive ($4,600 for the snakeskin version) toolbox. He was, of course, selling the purse to the wrong woman. I have a constitutional aversion to handbags that cost as much as the average Panamanian makes in a year. Call me crazy.
Ms. Kuczynski: You're crazy. Especially given the big bucks hubby Charles Stevenson is packing.
Medusa Wears a Sweeter Smile [Alex Kuczynski, NYT]
CONTINUED »
• The city is about to get real country tonight with the Country Music Awards at MSG. That's right: More gay men in tight jeans invade the town than during the Republican National Convention. [AP]
• Alessandra Stanley is definitely the only person we'd trust to analyze Oprah at 20 years. Or watch her DVD collection. [NYT]
• Egads! The People's Choice Awards might no longer follow what the Oscars do now that cost-cutting has turned the voting process into a veritable shaking of an 8 ball. [LAT]
• The LAPD don't care if you're brandishing weed outside hot nightclubs, so long as you're a celeb. [TMZ]
• Madonna is out and Halle Berry is in as the face of Versace. But with Kate Moss on her comeback tour, perhaps she'll be popping up next to Donatella in a few months. [Page Six]
• Ken Tucker is leaving New York after 13 months to return to Entertainment Weekly — because he was tired of commuting to Manhattan to attend movie screenings, if you believe the official excuse. [WWD]
• Business travelers, it turns out, don't care how hip your stupid hotel is. Just give 'em a place to lay down .. next to their call girl. [NYT]
• Jennifer Anistonn: GQ's first "Man of the Year." And she's on the cover. With her boobs showing. [Perez Hilton]
· Source magazine founder Raymond "Benzino" Scott recants his resignation and plans to start a magazine "for the little guy" and instead will turn his magazine into something "bigger and better." Though, uh, we already have XXL.
· Billy Joel is out of rehab after a 30 day wine detox, which means he's finally ready to move on to blow.
· The 10-year-old Veronica You who scored an interview with Britney Spears for her school paper is none other than the daughter of former Star editor Brenda You. America is assured the story was not sold to the tabs.
· Fox TV affiliates are refusing to pay a $1+ million indecency fine for airing a Married By America episode featuring strippers and whipped cream. Now if that's not the American dream ..
· Demi Moore will be the next face of Versace, after Madonna hands over the reigns. She'll team up with photog Mario Testino and pair with male model Gabriel Aubry, who is twice as attractive and five times less obnoxious than her real life boyfriend.
· The phrase "how fitting" jumped out at us upon learning Paris Hilton is designing jewelry for dogs.
· Oprah handed out $5,000 bonuses to 100 editorial and biz staffers at her magazine to celebrate the title's fifth anniversary. And unlike those Pontiacs she handed to audience members, these gifts were tax-free.
· Arguably the best quote of the day is provided by Hillary Clinton's press secretary, responding to Ed Klein's "scandalous" new book about the senator: "We don't comment on works of fiction."
· Admit it: You hate not making a magazine list as much as anyone else.
