Barack Obama's soaring election to the nation's highest office didn't just inspire millions of little boys and girls, millions of young people, and millions of seniors who thought they would never live to see the day when a black man became president. It also inspired Wall Street! Gearing up for an Obama sweep, investors rallied behind media stocks, sending Sumner Redstone's Viacom up 9 percent, along with Disney, CBS, and News Corp. Funny, because these are the very media companies that, now that the election is over, are expected to suffer huge audience losses. [MediaPost]

While all these photos of stock brokers and ebankers and itraders and whatever have been floating around like so much flotsam in the Hudson since the Dow began its quick downward descent, it's easy to imagine one guy with a particular good grimace/grip on the bridge of his nose getting photographed more than once.

But New York Stock Exchange Trader #1148? The dude's been snapped at least five different times in different (but similar?) poses. Hell, if being a trader isn't lucrative anymore, this guy could get a job as a dour male model for portending doom.

Who is the man behind the mesh-backed shirt? More pics after the jump:

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W. isn't even out yet and Oliver Stone wants to go around, stirring up more trouble. Sources are saying Stone is looking to make a sequel to Wall Street, his 1987 movie about corrupt stock brokers at a time when the country's greatest fear isn't terrorists or Anthrax but…corrupt stock brokers.
The sequel is titled Money Never Sleeps, and already Michael Douglas wants on board for a reprisal of Gordon Gekko, "who has recently been released from prison only to re-emerge into a much more tumultuous financial world than the one he once lorded over."

How apropos.

We're not even going to pretend to understand how global economic forces work, like what moves the TED index up and down. But from an outsider's perspective, here's how the latest move by Wall Street looks:

When the U.S. government agreed to bailout banks and throw some $700 billion at the problem, stockholders still weren't convinced their problems were over, and proceeded to send the Dow below 10,000 in the biggest short-term drop in Wall Street history, communicating to the world they still didn't have any confidence. But when European banks say they'll do the same thing, everything is champagne and daisies again? Why does that scenario not instill much, uh, confidence?

Sex addiction is the new way to blame all your marital problems on something you can't control (see also: alcohol, drugs, gambling, working), and ooh…looks like we'll be seeing more of this excuse as ebankers try to explain away their $3,000 "massage" after losing their jobs on Wall Street.

And it's all David Duchovny's fault:

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Oil prices are down. Iceland is all but bankrupt. The U.S. Treasury turned our national debt into a puzzle children can play by using only 8-digit calculators. But here in real America — that's New York Fuckin' City to you — how is this whole mess playing out?

We already learned bottle service might be in trouble, but strippers are not. And now, real crisis: Citizens settling for shitty weed.

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Are we done with all these pictures of Wall Street types pinching the bridge of their nose or with their hands over their mouths as if to say "the world is on fire and it smells like sulfur?"

Brokers need to put their hands over their mics to make bids, which kind of makes it seem like they are yawning or gasping but it's a normal occurrence and it does not necessarily mean that all brokers/financiers are having a meltdown and are thisclose to killing themselves and their families, except for that one guy in LA who did just that. As for the nose-pinching? Well: sinus infections are rampant this time of year.

It's embarrassing enough to be caught by some random photog in a private moment of banker shame, but do the snark blogs have to call you on it as well? New York mag couldn't help themselves at taking this potshot:

• The man above had his photo splashed on the Times homepage almost all day. Now, in addition to being sad at losing a lot of money, he must be embarrassed, not least because he was wearing that weird shirt with the net on it on this of all days. But at least he now has a shot at becoming microfamous!

Cute, except as a tipster pointed out, the mesh backing isn't that unusual:

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So, we got our bailout package approved to save America, well, if the House of Representatives will play nice and vote yea this time around. Taxpayers still owe $700 billion dollars to the government in a revised bailout plan that passed in the Senate: The package didn't pass Monday in the House, causing the stock market to crash and at least three horseman of the chocopocalypse to ride around Manhattan for a couple hours. But the new deal is not much different, except it includes more tax breaks and a "higher limit for insured bank deposits," but most importantly it gets rid of the golden parachute for Wall Street execs who chose poorly, meaning no more million dollar condos paid in cash. Also, no more threats of government cheese whiz, so everyone is happy right?

The bill passed 74-25 in the Senate last night, and included the most relieved/hypocritical statement ever uttered by a Senate member (fer serious):

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One time a friend suggested getting a tattoo of a really cliche New Yorker cartoon panel near a *achem* personal area. The idea was to make it as quintessential as possible (for a goof!): something like two pigs with top hats in a bar, toasting each other with martinis.

While you hope that no one is actually pretentious/ironic enough to actually get this done, the anecdote does serve to illustrate the point that New Yorker's cartoons are something of a cultural touchstone: you can identify the line drawings and drôle witticisms from a mile away.

So you know that when NYer's entire cartoon collection for this week's issue feature nothing except panel after panel about the Wall Street crisis, even cartoonists are feeling less than optimistic about the current economic shitstorm.

Herewith, some Wall Street fist bumps:

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Lots of ATM receipts are fluttering around the South St. Seaport this week, as i-bankers and Wall Street suits begin a great exodus from their checking and savings accounts.

These clever men and women know that even if their livelihoods are in jeopardy, they are still insured for under $100k by the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation, which is why they are leaving just a little less than that in their accounts.

Because today hasn't included enough news about confusing musicals, here's another one for ya: Brett Easton Ellis' most famously depraved novel, American Psycho, is heading to the stage. The book and subsequent film prominently feature monologues about 80s Reagan-era bands, which will play a large part in the musical production's development.

Though taking a gamble on theater right now (which are not doing as badly as other economic ventures right now but still) producers Craig Roessler and Johnson-Roessler have high hopes that a satirical look at murder on Wall Street will strike a gallows-humor chord with the ex-Lehman brother crowd.

Below, one scene from the film version of AP that will definitely be a highlight of the dance numbers:

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Lehman Brothers, one of those FAIL banks from last week's economic meltdown, was purchased for a song by British contender Barclay Capital. And wouldn't you know it, the Brits didn't even wait seven days before changing the neon sign outside the bank's Times Square location:

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True to Slate form, the bizarro-world web magazine's financial spin-off The Big Money sees the collapse of Wall Street as a good thing. Michael Lewis has five reasons for you to see Lehman Brothers, AIG, and Morgan Stanley as a glass half-full type of thing. Reason No. 3: Ordinary Americans get a lesson in low finance.: "It's been expensive but, then, so is kindergarten." Take that zing all the way to your collapsed stock portfolio! [The Big Money]

Have you heard? Rich bankers in New York, the poncy swindlers who keep us out of Manhattan after sundown (they've discovered the LES!), are becoming a tad less rich. Boo hoo. And with the money goes the ridiculous luxuries it buys. No more willowy blonds who don't mind not kissing during sex, no more bespoke wingtips and, according to various nightlife connoisseurs, no more fucking bottle service. Huzzah!

In deference to those kind, decent human beings who know nothing of the favorite pastime of New York's most detestable pricks, bottle service is a practice in which scantily clad club waitresses bring overpriced bottles of vodka to tables of wealthy, hooting clowns who like rap music but hate black people. Good times! But God knows they couldn't last; clubs around New York are kiboshing the service as our nation falls into financial ruin and i-bankers run around with less disposable income:

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Wall Street Journal reporter Greg Zuckerman secured a $250,000 advance from Doubleday for an upcoming book. The book will be about hedge fund manger John Paulson, who turned the mortgage meltdown into a personal profit. Of $3 billion. [NYP]

It doesn't take Maria Bartiromo to brew up a scandal at CNBC. The financial network thought its $1 million online stock picking game would be a lovely way to 1) Draw young people; 2) Make use of this cool Internet thing everyone is talking about; 3) Generate buzz. They sort of almost achieved all three, except the young people it attracted weren't so much the savvy investor types as they were the savvy computer hacking variety.

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Wallstrip – the Wall Street web video program featuring Lindsay Campbell trying to make the Nasdaq hilarious – is being snapped up by CBS News, we're told, for something in the $5 million range. An announcement is expected early this week, perhaps Monday. Part of the deal involves Campbell being the next Amanda Congdon: frontin' for CBS' web initiatives.

A moment of nostalgia: Back in November '06, Lindsay interviewed Wallstrip investor Fred Wilson, of Union Square Ventures, who, naturally, called the site "the next big thing." It certainly is, at least for Les Moonves' balance sheet.

It's probably worth noting at this juncture that Wallstrip – backed by Howard Lindzon – doesn't make any money. No ad revenue. Nada. Good luck with that!

• The "Final Four" potential buyers for the Knight Ridder papers have been announced. Fine, we promise no more attempts at sports humor. [NYT]

• Get ready for Wednesday, when Elizabeth Spiers tunes into the Wall Street gossip with her long awaited blog, DealBreaker. Finally, some gossip about people with money. [Fishbowl]

• Spending all day in your apartment in sweatpants doesn't mean you'll never fall in love. The blogosphere's first torrid romance was consummated this weekend. [Media Mob]

• When you're nasty rich, nobody cares that you're a geek. Bill Gates, anyone? [MSNBC]

• Hey, remember when Bob Woodruff showed us that Iraq wasn't so bad by covering an ice cream parlor and a ballet school? Too bad that was before he got his face blown off. [WaPo]