• Lady Liberty opens her crown just in time to catch a view of a lady from Boston with her shorts up her butt. [amNY]

• Want a crappy fortune? Here: "you will find this story mildly interesting but mostly pointless." See, and we didn't even need Cindy Adams' crystal ball. [NY1]

• Terms like "Ninja Monster Bouncer" help keep the murder coverage in the Post a little more upbeat. [NYP]

• Churchgoing people don't really molest and kill children do they? Why isn't anyone reporting on that? [NYDN]

• While we are here, staring outside and updating this blog, everyone else is at the beach. If you, too are at your desk, reading this, here's to hoping those fuckers get rained out. We're not bitter, we swear. [The Beach]

We've been dipping our aching feet into the weatherman scene lately. And today, while the sun may be shining bright outside, things are getting gloomy within the confines of, well, this post.

Last we relayed, WABC 7 weatherman Sam Champion could allegedly be seen hand-in-hand (at church, no less) with Sean Bell, who may or may not be an online escort available on Manhunt.net. (Sam and Sean's attorney, meanwhile, argues to us that Bell is not for sale on Manhunt.) We'll get to the latest details on that sordid relationship in a moment, but first let's use Sam Champion as a jumping off point to get to some media news you might actually be interested in.

With Al Roker standing firm at NBC's Today, we've only got the weather crew at ABC's Good Morning America and CBS's The Early Show to toy with. So, why don't we?

We're hearing that The Early Show's professional map pointer (since July '03) Dave Price, who holds down the local and national gig, is making an exit from Les Moonves' house and heading over to GMA. Les, try as he might to hang on to Price, is said to be fighting a losing battle; Price has nearly signed with GMA.

So where does the blonde-locked Sam Champion fall into this? We're told he was his own biggest lobbiest for the Good Morning America job, even taking to Larry King's airwaves to make his cause. But Mr. Champion's, ahem, "'lifestyle' is too apparent on television and won't carry well on national TV to homes across America," says our tattler.

Meanwhile, over in the blissful gayborhood that Sam and Sean Bell live in, we hear from another well-placed source that New York's most loved weather fella is getting Kevin Federlined. Those details, after the jump.

CONTINUED »

Who knew media could get so gay in one day? C'mon, of course you did. First, we break news that the gay man's straight rag Out finally picked up a new EIC. Now we hear word that everyone's favorite blonde-locked weatherman, WABC's Sam Champion, has himself a new partner — and it's not one of those pointy-clicky things Al Roker-types are so fond of.

Sam Champion has been seen at the esteemed African American Abyssinian Baptist Church in Harlem with his new boyfriend. The boyfriend, a Mississippi native, is well known among New York’s Chelsea gay community for his services and nude pictures that have been offered on several internet gay porn sex sites. Sam has been proudly introducing his new partner to friends in New York and Connecticut and the new couple, with hopes of living together, has been seen viewing potential properties for sale in Wilton, Ct. The loving couple can be seen attending weekly Sunday services at Abyssinian Baptist Church in Harlem.

Living together in Connecticut? Well known in the Chelsea gay community? Champion sure knows how to distinguish himself from all the other mo couples this side of 42nd Street — and keep us tuned in to channel 7. Either way, we hear the duo met over Martin Luther King Jr. weekend and the fella who will keep clouds away is a one Sean Bell, who, we're assuming, is not the C-list actor. (And, of course, those claims about gay porn sex sites? They're alleged, to be sure.)

Bonus Round: It wasn't so long ago that rumors swirled (and songs were written) about Champion shacking up with baseball slugger Mike Piazza. Maybe this Mr. Bell will turn out to be Rangers hottie Petr Prucha. One can hope.

Manholes? Exploding? In the Village? We just write the jokes people, we don't come up with them.

Manhole explosions leaves parts of Greenwich Village powerless [ABC 7]

CNN's on-air advice for travelers trying to get into New York:

The best thing that people can do if they're trying to fly into New York is .. not to do so.

Brilliant! Especially since MSNBC's all-Olympics coverage means Randy Meier isn't around to dish travel tips.

In other words: Keep flailing that gloved hand. Nobody's coming. The hypothermia will set in soon and this whole MTA strike will be nothing but a distant memory.

New York Forecast [AccuWeather]

Last week, we were told the warm weather lasted unseasonably long this year. This week, we're told the snow came too soon. Won't someone just sit the weather down in therapy like any other New Yorker with an identity crisis?

Snow in New York, Not Big, but Early [Jennifer Medina, NYT]

Otherwise known as: We're so fucking glad we don't have a real job that requires a commute.

The heat is "proving unbearable," reports CNN. In Phoenix, 18 people have died! Now it's Chicago, where temps are expected to hit 100 degrees this weekend. Nancy Loo reports from Chicago's Buckingham Fountain ..

.. or from the opening credits of Married With Children, we're not sure.