Though, on her television show, Ellen DeGeneres blabbed on and on about how she and partner Portia de Rossi were going to wed now that California approved the rights of gay men and women to experience the fruits of divorce, the talk show host refused to say when they were getting married exactly, hoping to keep the stalkerazzi off their tale. This did not work — reports surfaced late last week that they'd tie the knot over the weekend. And they did just that, at their Beverly Hills manse in front of fewer than 20 people. The Daily Mail says "former comic" Ellen "wore a loose-fitting white chiffon shirt, white waistcoat and trousers" while de Rossie, clearly the womyn in the relationship, "wore a cream and pale pink halterneck dress by designer Zac Posen." This was easy to determine since, although Ellen said they wouldn't sell their wedding photos, at least one photographer managed to sneak close enough to the nuptials to spoil their day. Ah, privacy! (Pity People, who only has a statement from their rep.)

It wasn't an episode of Ashton Kutcher's forgettable Pop Fiction, but you've got to respect Nicole Richie and Joel Madden's prank on the press: by playing into Star magazine's (false) report that the two were getting married in a $2 million ceremony.

On Saturday, Madden updated GoodCharlotte.com to say "WE DID IT!! NICOLE AND I FINALLY GOT MARRIED!! click here for the pictures!!" And pictures there were: Of a wedding cake, and a, um, gorilla groom and bride, along with a note, "Haha, just kidding."

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"According to Montag and Pratt’s latest cover story in Us, their dream is a small wedding on Sir Richard Branson’s Necker Island in the Virgin Islands, with catering by Wolfgang Puck’s Cut restaurant, watches by Jason of Beverly Hills for all their guests and a performance by U2." Oh, and for it to be filmed by MTV. [E!]

After paying an estimated $1.3 million for photos of Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz's wedding, People magazine won't risk any opportunity to turn their investment into a web traffic boon.

Meanwhile, while Joe Simpson turned his youngest daughter's nuptials in a press spectacle, one other starlet managed to exchange vows under the radar: Jessica Alba, with Cash Warren, in a shotgun wedding. Perhaps it helped that nobody else was at the ceremony, and rather than wearing white, Alba chose "a long blue dress and her hair back in a ponytail."

Why would Joe Simpson want daughter Jessica's ex-boyfriend Tony Romo at Ashlee's wedding? "To come to show support for the wedding," as one Us Weekly source says? [Us] Or because papa Joe knows that the more celebrities at Ashlee's wedding, the more exposure he can get, and the more he can possibly charge. We've already reported he sold the wedding pics to People for an estimated $1.3 million, but with Romo there, the gossip currency only grows. And let's just hope Joe didn't promise People that Tony would be there.

So yeah, Tony, go show your "support" for "the wedding," and not Joe's bank balance.

This is about the most iconic image you're going to see following yesterday's California Supreme Court ruling striking down a ban on gay marriage. Reads the caption: "A wedding cake is seen during a demonstration in West Hollywood, California, May 15 after the decision by the California Supreme Court to effectively greenlight same-sex marriage." [Photo: AFP]

If you're sitting near a TV today, you're rainy Friday is gonna get a whole lot gayer, courtesy Ellen DeGeneres: "A spy in the audience of this afternoon's taping of the Ellen DeGeneres Show tells us that after Ellen mentioned today's California Supreme Court ruling striking down the state's ban on gay marriage, she surprised everyone and announced that she was going to tie the knot with longtime girlfriend, actress Portia de Rossi. Portia was in the crowd and after she made the announcement, the studio audience went wild, giving the two a huge standing O." [TMZ] Also, Justin Timberlake is on today's show, so there's that.

The White House released a few photos of Jenna Bush's Saturday wedding to Henry Hager, son of the chairman of Republican Party in Virginia. Guests were treated to commemorative mugs, which they could take home and put next to their George H.W. Bush commemorative plates.

What assholes are going to show up to the Cooper-Hewitt Museum on May 19 to witness the "wedding" of Gossip Girl's Lily van der Woodsen and Bart Bass? The reception will be, of course, at the Palace Hotel, were we might just happen to be enjoying a cocktail and waiting to see if The CW's publicity team have dreamt up anything clever. [Jaunted]

TOUCH MY BODY, DON'T TOUCH MY BANK ACCOUNT Mariah Carey is DEFINITELY married to Nick Cannon, claims one gossip, and also DEFINITELY signed a pre-nup with her 10-years-younger husband because, heaven forbid things should go awry, she doesn't want to give him anything more than a stage prop.

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Is news of Ben Widdicombe's departure about to get trumped – in gay gossip circles – by Ted Casablanca? The E! gay-ssip today mentions his upcoming nuptials: "You’re pissy; we’re less so (I’m getting married in less than a week, and Becky’s gonna be free of my pushy ass for a whole two, woo-friggin’-hoo!)." Um, congrats?

Partner Jon Powell proposed to Casablanca last June "on a deserted Hawaiian beach." At their wedding, they'll still be wearing Speedos, but with tuxes over 'em.

In July of '07, we shared with you the rock that TMZ.com's Gillian Sheldon was wearing when she accepted partner Tim Heckendorf's proposal. Tomorrow, it'll be joined by a wedding band, when the happy couple exchange vows at a ceremony outside Los Angeles. An early congratulations to them both! And in good fashion, we'll probably bring you the wedding dress on Monday.

Oh for the love of all that is holy, we can finally put this "speculation" about whether Jay-Z and Beyonce actually got married to rest. The duo filed their signed marriage license in Scarsdale on Friday. The news arrives today, just as most of the tabloids are shipping to the printer. No worries though; they didn't much care for these nuptials anyhow.

[Anne Fletcher] makes the reasonably insightful, moderately funny point that modern American weddings, however they may strain for individuality and specialness, are all pretty much alike.

The problem is that much the same could be said about modern American romantic comedies. There is a touch of idiosyncrasy here and there — in this one the heroine’s dad is a widower who owns a hardware store! — but most of the elements might as well have been pulled off the registry list at a high-end chain store.

-A.O. Scott, "Bridesmaid Revisited, Again and Again," New York Times