After yesterday's stumper about the picture-perfect Hollywood couple, we weren't sure if we even wanted to take a crack at today's blind item. And yet, here it is!

Which pretty actress just chopped off her trademark blond locks because her increasingly erratic Hollywood funnyman-boyfriend didn't like the feel of extensions?

But which blond bimbo could they be singling out? And who's her slightly hair-phobic masked funnyman? Sigh. These unanswerable questions are just making us feel dumb and dumber by the day…

"WHICH Oscar-winning actor has his friends worried?" asks today's Page Six. "His career's gone downhill since getting the gold statue and his drinking has increased tenfold. Now, he doesn't even try to hide his public drunkenness or his affairs."

But who could it be?

Let's put on our thinking caps and try to narrow it down! Possibly to a certain ambiguously gay someone, who followed up his mid-90's Academy Award winning performance with a slew of unwatchable family pictures.

Poor "Mystery Man." Who would have ever guessed that gratuitously long movies about gay cruises, and mentally retarded football players would have simultaneously ruin your career and fail to show you the money?

When exploring the realm of former boy-banders, the question of "gay or closeted" tends to come up with alarming frequency. Which is why we're not exactly surprised by a blind item regarding a former boy-bander who was terrified of being photographed with his same-sex humpbuddy

In fact, this morning's Whodunit actually has us scratching our heads trying to figure out which guys-only crooner isn't a fan of man-to-man defense.

So which new kid on the block isn't quite ready to wave bye-bye-bye to straightdom? Which hotstepping homo hasn't yet declared "I want it that way" in reference to his en fuego (male) Spanish escort? Naturally, we're stumped, but if you think you've got the scoop, let us know Whodunit.

Which still-closeted former boy-bander was making sure nobody got pictures of him with his handsome Spanish escort at a recent European charity event?

In today's post-Memorial Day weekend edition of Whodunit, our blind items become somewhat more prescient. And, despite being hungover, sleepy and sunburned in all the wrong places, we're willing to give it our best shot.

First, Blind item #1 deals with a Tony award-winning actor who's contemplating a merger with a former male XXX star. Then, the slightly more topical Blind Item #2 makes us wonder if the Hollywood mom who's aiding and abetting her daughter's coke habit could actually be anyone other than Dina Lohan.

(Our initial instincts say no, but subsequent recollections of the Duff sisters' mom, Mrs. Hilton and the woman who created Amy Winehouse are at least sufficient enough to create an element of reasonable doubt).

So which theater star—and rent boy patron—has no problem working with boys who rent bythe hour? Which enabling mom makes Howard Stern look like (step)father of the year? Start dreaming up your best guesses/theories/rumor-mongering and let us know Whodunit!

Which Tony-winning actor and patron of rent boys could be included in an upcoming Off-Broadway one-man-show by a former hustler and porn star reflecting on his experiences?

Which Hollywood mother's idea of managing her daughter's drug addiction is that she now carries the cocaine for her?

Today's Whodunit has us wondering whether Ben Widdicombe is toying with our emotions or merely losing his edge. The subject? A "designer and tv personality" who meets his sexual partners on the internets and insists on coitus in pitch-black conditions so as not to draw undue attention to his disappointingly sized penis.*

Anyhow, is it just us or is it fairly obvious which touchy-feely design star Gatecrasher is "targeting" in today's "Don't Shoot the Messenger?"

Then again, we've got a long, well-documented history of being wrong and ridiculous, so we encourage your (likely far more en pointe) submissions. So, who's the small-time big designer who's afraid of the light? If you think you've got the scoop, let us know Whounit!

Which designer and TV personality who advertises for sex online insists on hooking up with all the lights off so his tricks don't find out he's a (minor) celebrity?

*Yes, because that won't be revealed during the sex.

The only thing we love more than deep-tissue massages are hot stone massages. But, apparently, there's someone out there even more passionate about his full body rub-downs! In today's Whodunit, Gatecrasher continues to trace the history of the Manhandling Masseuse, while Page Six confounds us with lesbian legislators, bald billionaires and speed-happy starlets. (Oh, the alliteration!)

Think you know which married actor can't keep his hands to himself? How about the follically impaired billionaire has been getting around with a cane (and possibly just "getting around?") If you've got the scoop—or even just a harebrained theory—let us know Whodunit!

Someone with experience of our often-cited massage-therapist-loving Hollywood star writes in with a description of exactly how he hits on them: "He tells the therapist that he's had so many massages he's become an expert - then tries to get him on the table so he can massage him."

WHICH state legislator is about to come under heavy fire from gay activists because she's not supporting the gay marriage bill? They say that although her legal residence is in Brooklyn, she really lives with her lesbian partner in Manhattan . . . WHICH rehabbed starlet was in for addictions even worse than alcohol and cocaine? She's still battling a crystal meth habit . . . WHICH bald billionaire had friends worried because he was walking with a cane? He laughed off speculation he threw out his back while overexerting himself one night in the sack.

After a temporary blind items hiatus, Whodunit is finally back. And (we think) it's better than ever! In today's installment, we learn about two sexually adventurous mystery men, whose "hands-on" approach has landed them both in hot water. Kinky!

Mystery Man #1 is a married actor who loves massage therapists and same-sex gropefests. So much so, in fact, that he paid another guy hush-money to keep quiet about his grabby on-set behavior. Meanwhile, Mystery Man #2 is a less-closeted magazine editor, who was recently booted from a Chelsea gay bar after trying—and failing—to instigate a dance-floor orgy."

So which married leading man makes his (male) extras go that "extra" mile? Which magazine editor is bringing PublicOrgy back? If you think you've got the goods, register here and let us know Whodunit!

Which married, massage therapist-loving actor had to pay a guy off on the set of his current film after he got a little too touchy-feely?

Which national magazine editor was kicked out of a Chelsea gay bar for instigating an orgy of dance-floor sex acts?

After enjoying a wonderful weekend of mid-afternoon drinking, Roe v. Wade bashing and a nice little Saturday at Home Depot, we're ready to dive right into this morning's edition of Whodunit.

Today, our mystery men are both washed-up musicians reminding us why we've sworn off both country music and snorting cocaine off of live animals.

Musician #1 is a rocker who was, apparently, happy to sniff his pooch after inadvertently misplacing his drugs in Rover's fur. Meanwhile, Musician #2, a married country star reportedly has a thing for flying in prostitutes for two hours of knockin' (cowboy) boots.

Think you know who's whistlin' dixie after an airport lay and who's singing the blues after a close encounter of the drooly canine kind? Then shirk work (like you needed an excuse, anyway), send in your best guesses and let us know Whodunit!

Which rocker was reduced to snorting cocaine off the back of his dog after it jumped up on him, spilling a gram of the stuff over itself?

Which married country singing star has his managers pick up hustlers from the Nashville airport and drive them to a hotel room rendezvous? They're back on a plane out two hours later.

In today's all-television installment of Whodunit, we explore the deep, dark recesses of SNL, contemplate the hidden meaning of "boob tube" and find out there is such a thing as too much gym.

First up, the NYDN has us wondering which "smoking hot TV actress" got her big break by bedding "one of the least attractive SNL cast members" while still in college. And as try to figure out which NBC mainstays we'd least want to see naked (Horatio Sanz? Rob Schneider? Barack wannabe, Kenan Thompson?) we shift our attention to the brainteasers of the E! Online variety.

Here, we learn about the vivacious actress on a hit television show who shunned Debra Messing's brave example and underwent a breast enhancement…at her boyfriend's request. Then we try to unmask the hard-bodied hothead, who was spotted admiring his own reflection in no less than three different gym mirrors.

Think you know who was knocking beats underneath the Weekend Update desk? Or which effervescent tv actress just got a wee bit perkier? If you think you've go the scoop, let us know Whodunit!

Full items after the jump.

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As is often the case, our weekend gossip purveyors have combined to make this Monday edition of Whodunit a lengthy one. So hope you're somewhat well-rested (or at least no longer hungover) because it's time to dig right in.

First, the NYDN explains why Hayden Panettiere is no stranger to the press, then has us wondering which self-declared bachelor needs a kick in the ass "a daily injection in his butt" to compensate for his sexual proclivities.

Meanwhile, the NYP offers a schmorgasboard of Whodunits. First, there's the "famously single tv actor" is secretly gay and even more secretly dating the ex of a former boy-bander. Then, there's the studio big shot who's having professional and marital troubles, and the "elegant PR man" who's dipped his (former alcoholic) toe back into the top-shelf wading pool. And finally, there's the blemishy Brit, whose pretty face was salvaged only by the hardworking "Photoshop geeks."

So who's the bachelor with aching backside? The closeted actor who's banging a boy-band throwaway? And the "breakout" English starlet? If you think you've got the scoop, let us know Whodunit!

(Full items after the jump).

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In today's very special Whodunit, we leave behind the world of celebrity to instead focus our energies on minor book authors. Particularly of the 'Chick-lit" variety. Because today, the Land of the Blind has us trying to figure out which hard partying chick-lit scribe had a boot and rally at the local church one Sunday.

Naturally, we think it was plagiarizing Harvard vixen Kaavya Viswanathan who come down with a case of the voms, but we're happy to entertain any other candidates who you think may have confused "pew" with "spew." As always, we look forward to your guesses, so if you think you've figured out the bookish broad, let us know Whodunit!

Which chick-lit author was so hung over after a Saturday night on the town that she vomited into her jacket sleeve at church the next day?

Another day, another Whodunit. And today, Gatecrasher has us wondering which married but oh-so-rebellious Academy Award winner is having an affair with a lusty Latina, who may or may not look exactly like Beyonce.

So which unhappily married A-Lister is still looking for his "Dreamgirl?" Is it former Latina-loving (and occasional screenplay writer) Ben Affleck? Or how about the phone-throwing Gladiator, Russell Crowe? Or could it be Aussie heartbreaker turned family man, Heath Ledger?

If you think you know which Oscar winner (remember, that could mean anyone from Best Actor to Best Cinematographer) is having an interracial dalliance, give us your best guesses and let us know Whodunit!

Which married bad-boy Oscar winner has a bit on the side with an early-20s NYC Latina beauty, said to resemble Beyonce?

In today's slightly tardy edition of Whodunit, the Post and NYDN team up to hit us with a blind items bonanza, thereby ensuring that our daytime productivity plummets, and that we never actually get to those TPS reports sitting on our desk.

First, Gatecrasher has us wondering which opportunistic film "star" has been knocking boots with a happily married TV actress. Then Page Six tries to stump us with a miserly missus, a club who's clientele includes "cute Puerto Rican" thieves and a handsome married man has an insatiable appetite for men.

Think you know which adulterous wife is jeopardizing her (future) divorce settlement, or which radio personality's wife padlocks the fridge to protect her stash of Polly-O string cheese? If you think you've got the dirt, let us know Whodunit!

Full items after the jump.

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Today's somewhat unappetizing Whodunit has us trying not to think about which under the weather blond bombshell ruined her hotel mattress (and, um, our appetites) in one fell swoop.

So which damsel in distress had housekeeping gave whole new meaning to the phrase "The Princess and the Pea?" Which Sleeping Beauty's raucous appetite for sex mandated an emergency trip to Sleepy's?

If you think know the fair-haired destroyer of all things mattress, send in your best guesses and tell us Whodunit.

Which blond bombshell, on a recent visit to Rome, became ill and soiled her bedsheets so badly that the hotel mattress had to be replaced? "Also, she and [her boyfriend] have a reputation for really dirty sex," says a snitch.

Today's edition of Whodunit has us pondering which drunk and disorderly Englishman hid behind your grandmother's mink coat to avoid being dragged into a round of fisticuffs.

And while the "drunk" part of clue is of little help (did we mention the man in question is English?) the fact that he's a leading man certainly helps to narrow down the field. So have at it! Which boozy Brit was so afraid to come out of the closet he was reduced to spending the evening cowering under Burberry raincoats, and fraternizing with umbrellas and galoshes?

If you think you know the identity of this intoxicated U.K. pacifist, send in your best guesses and let us know Whodunit!

Which handsome (and drunk) British leading man was recently reduced to hiding behind the coat rack at Soho House in London to evade a fellow guest who was trying to pick a fight?

Today's widereaching Whodunit spans the realms of celebrity weeklies, billionaire bachelors and Hollywood madams turned celebutantes. And we can't think of a better way to spend this beautiful Monday morning than by digging into the private lives of our favorite "anonymous" boldfacers.

First, Gatecrasher has us wondering which Bonnie Fuller disciple responded to the Don Imus incident by proposing extreme makeovers for the infamous Rutger's women's bball team. Then, Page Six responds with an All-Billionaire's Edition, asking us which single billionaire has a yenta for a publicist, which divorcing billionaire isn't afraid to cry and which celebutard previously earned a living by matching billionaire clients with high-end hookers.

Think you know which fashion editrix isn't much of a WNBA fan? Any clue who's the tear-jerking Richie Rich? As always, send in your best guesses and let us know Whodunit!

Read the blind items in full, after the jump.

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Which same-sexin' R&B singer was Ben Widdicombe referencing in Sunday's Gatecrasher? The item went to press as such:

Which R&B singer likes to drop ecstasy in the studio and fool around with his posse as if it doesn't count as gay because they're all taking drugs? Wonder if he knows there's security camera footage?

And then came well-circulated word from an intimate of a certain B-list sex tape star.

CONTINUED »

In what's perhaps the easiest blind item results show, may we present today's Gatecrasher nudge:

Which pop tart is attending basketball games, according to NBA gossip, owing to a crush on a player with a history of sexual assault accusations?

Leave it to Us Weekly to give away the answer before you even have a chance to guess.

CONTINUED »

When you come in from the weekend, there are already a flurry of blind items nipping at your heels. So we chose the ones you'll actually still care about by … Tuesday.

From a consortium of Page Six and Gatecrasher guessing games:

1) Which famous fashion designer created for herself a pair of stilettos with hollow heels that snapped off to carry her drugs?

2) WHICH bed-hopping groupie climbed up a long ladder of club riffraff before snagging the deejay superstar the rest of the deejays model themselves after?

3) Which blond reality starlet who just fell out with the show's main draw is following a recent breast augmentation with a nose job this week?

Your responses are expected in the comments.

Today's Thursday installment of Whodunit has us combing through the Gatecrasher archives to figure out which celebrity duo started out as a three-way, presumably with one of the megawatt boldfacers making a cameo as the special guest star.

So which twosome was originally a threesome? Which Hollywooders would rather screen their partners through intensive orgies than deal with the meat-market of the online dating scene? Send in your best guesses, crackpot theories and most imaginative tips if you think you know Whodunit.

Which megastar couple, whose torrid fling was first flagged in this column, consummated their acquaintance with a ménage à trois?