Because that six minute "Don't Vote" ad wasn't annoying enough the first time around, now these asshats (Borat? Seriously? Can Sasha Baron Cohen even legally vote in this country?) are going all meta on everyone's asses.
The biggest names, from Scientologist Will Smith to Scientologist Tom Cruise, don't "get" why Steven Spielberg wants them to sarcastically tell America not to vote. Shia LaBeouf looks like he doesn't even know what the word "sarcastic" means, despite being part the most eye-rolling generation since, um, the Gen-X'ers. Speaking of which, there's Ben Stiller. What's wrong with his face?
Cranky Madonna-hating gossip Roger Friedman has two things he loves bitching about (beside Madonna): Michael Jackson, and Scientology. He's ran plenty of copy about the latter, from Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' relationship to their friendship with fellow movie star couple Will and Jada Pinkett Smith. And on Monday night, he accosted the Hancock star with questions about L. Ron Hubbard! CONTINUED »
The reviews for Hancock, which had its grand premiere yesterday in Hollywood, are here. And they’re not very good, unfortunately. According to various reviewers, despite the great cast and excellent concept, the movie starts to suck in the second half. Incidentally, these are almost the exact same reviews that I Am Legend got last December, and it ended up breaking box office records. So its doubtful that Will Smith is very worried.
Like any do-gooding multi-hundred-millionaire movie star, Hancock's Will Smith is involved in the philanthropy scene. He's also, as prying eyes have woefully pointed out, been involving himself with the Tom Cruise scene, which means of course that he's basically a raving Scientologist trying to hold in his inner homo, because that's what the cult is about, right? Back in 2004, Smith donated $20k to something called "HOPE: The Hollywood Education and Literacy Program," which is the church's "literary program," where children get homeschooled and, we're guessing, brainwashed in their formative years. Now, he and Jada have been plugging a way at their New Village Academy, a private school they're funding that will open in December, which got the LAT treatment over the weekend. Naturally, the first word out of the school's mouth is that it is not a Scientology facility. (Even Will and Jada still insist they aren't of the church.) But a certain anti-Scientology crusader is casting his eye of suspicion on this educational institution, mostly because of a … goat. CONTINUED »
Noted Hollywood star and heterosexual Will Smith appeared on Ellen DeGeneres' television show on Monday to discuss – as Ellen is wont to do following some little California court ruling – marriage. Ellen, as you might have heard, plans to marry girlfriend Portia de Rossi, and so that is all she can think about, even if her writers might have put other talking points on her cue cards. So how has Smith, who is married to heavy metal singer Jada Pinkett, kept his marriage going strong for 10 years?
"What I found is divorce just can't be an option. It's really that simple. And I think that's the problem with L.A. – there are so many options. So a huge part of the success for [Jada] and I is that we just removed the other options. [...] We're like listen, we're going to be together one way or the other so we might as well try to be happy." [People]
Uh huh. So the secret to staying married is convincing yourselves staying married is the only option, whether you're happy or not? Because then, oh we don't know, somebody else might suspect you were two raging homosexuals? Sounds like a L. Ron Hubbard mantra if we ever heard one.
Movie stars are dead! Long live movies! In 2007 (that would be, um, last year), only four of the 25 top grossing top 25 domestic movies were headed primarily by movie stars. That's the lowest number in history. And it's worrisome for up-and-comers like Shia LaBeouf, Seth Rogen, and Katherine Heigl, who are kind of banking on their brand names to turn them into bonafide life-long bankable actors. The Hollywood Reporter is also very worried, which is why it's devoted thousands of words to the gloom.
Why aren't audiences interested in heavy hitting stars like De Niro and Pitt and Ms. Julia Roberts? Well they are, to a point: Will Smith can still drive any movie he's in to an orgy at the box office, and Matt Damon's Jason Bourne franchise is a Moet-popping undertaking, but they're among the few. CONTINUED »
Connor Cruise, son of Tom and Nicole Kidman, will make his big screen debut in Seven Pounds, playing the younger version of Will Smith.
That is: The movie biz is now a playground for Scientologists as much as it is for Jews.
When MSNBC.com's Scoop gossip column ran an item on Monday claiming Will Smith was a Scientologist, Sony Pictures flipped its wig and demanded the story be taken offline immediately. You see, Sony is the film studio behind July's Hancock, starring Smith, and it would be very bad for business if their blockbuster star suddenly was in the press because of his newfound cult instead of his new superhero flick.
But MSNBC's got balls: They refused to take the story offline. That forced Sony's hands, which meant Smith quickly issued a denial statement. He remains a Christian, he claims, and just because he's friends with Tom Cruise doesn't make him a Thetan freak.
"You don't have to be Jewish to be a friend of Steven Spielberg. You don't have to be a Muslim to be a friend of Muhammad Ali. And you don't have to be a Scientologist to be a friend of Tom Cruise. I am a Christian. I am a student of all religions. And I respect all people and all paths." That's Will Smith responding to claims and and wife Jada have drank the Scientology juice now that they're friends with Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes.
And for the record: When Will Smith donated, in 2004, $20,000 to HOPE: The Hollywood Education and Literacy Program – Scientology's "literacy program" that encourages homeschooling – he was not advocating any of Scientology's principles any more so than donating money to the Christian Children's Fund to save starving African children affirms your belief that Jesus is your savior.
It's just a coincidence, then, that since Smith made that donation, his children have been home schooled. CONTINUED »
EMPTY PROMISES If you're a celebrity, and Men's Vogue promises you the cover, do not believe them! They might pull a switch-a-roo on you, giving the cover to a blockbuster movie actor while your suicidal tendencies get pushed to the inside pages. [Gatecrasher]
• An internet exclusive: Naked pictures of Britney Spears.
• If you need a break from Britney's craziness, Paula Abdul is also crazy.
• And if you're not sick of Britney Spears's craziness, she may have realized that the paparazzo she's been intimate with was using her. Say it ain't so!
• Kim Cattrall is no Nicolette Sheridan, and is starting to look her age in a bathing suit. In other words, it's time to stop wearing bikinis. CONTINUED »
Here's some math: Slow news day plus badly worded comments about Adolf Hitler equals drama with the Anti-Defamation League. Fortunately, Will Smith took honors P.R. Math, and knows that quickly released statements plus blaming others equals salvaged reputation.
In a statement, Smith said,
It speaks to the dangerous power of an ignorant person with a pen. I am incensed and infuriated to have to respond to such ludicrous misinterpretation. … Adolf Hitler was a vile, heinous vicious killer responsible for one of the greatest acts of evil committed on this planet.
Phew, this guy is against the Holocaust. Maybe it is time to see I Am Legend.
P.S. How did Adolf Hitler come up in an interview with Will Smith anyway?
Our daily attempt to help you seem smart, even if you’re not.
conciliate \kun-SILL-ee-ayt\ verb 1 : to gain (as goodwill) by pleasing acts; 2 : to make compatible : reconcile; 3 : appease
After making vaguely anti-Semitic comments about Hilter's intentions, Will Smith will probably need to do some damage control to conciliate the Jews in Hollywood.
According to a negligibly reputable publication we may or may not have heard of, there appears to be a growing trend of black people adopting white children. Which may or may not explain why overgrown little-person Tom Cruise has suddenly been invited to join the Will Smith/Jada Pinkett clan.
• Tina Fey on Paula Abdul's stint hosting SNL in 2005: "I remember thinking, ‘She’s a disaster! I gotta prop this lady up and get her on TV."
• Amy Winehouse's new best friend is the only person in the world hoping Winehouse's good influence will rub off on him.
• Leona Helmsley's $12 million pooch is reportedly receiving death threats. Isn't life's a bitch?
• Will Smith is much too smart to let himself get taken in by Scientology. Either that or he's much too politically savvy to admit it.
• A trembling Jessica Alba gingerly slides open the oven door and comes face to face with a horror of unimaginable proportions! Yep, that's right. A list of her failed movies past.
After a busy day of puddle-hopping and jumping atop giant piles of dry leaves horse manure, actor Johnny Depp (a.k.a. the future Jaden Smith) shows up to the premiere of Sweeney Todd wearing dirty, "mud" spattered hiking boots and an expression that says "Don't judge me. For chrissakes, man, you work for WireImage." [Mollygood]
How, you might wonder, does father-slash-famous person Will Smith feel about his children's career aspirations? Answer: As proud as notoriously coiffed boxing promoter Don King is on the eve of a Pay-Per-View fight night!
Quoth the Smith: "'Jaden is [like] Johnny Depp. He just wants to do good work … He loves acting, he just wants to make good movies. And Willow is Pars Hilton,' Smith says, laughing. 'Willow wants to be on TV.'"
Meanwhile, we're just glad to see the doting dad loves his two children for who they really are. And that he's totally not pushing them to solicit the public spotlight, model themselves after an eccentric modelizer-turned-gay pirate and an underwear-deprived hotel heiress or expect overnight success in a highly competitive, soul-crushing industry.
Finally! The trailer for I Am Legend (the movie that disrupted our sleep schedule and had everyone in Manhattan mistakenly convinced that our city was once again the victim of a violent terrorist attack) is available. We'd watch it ourselves, but we're busy working still being treated for post-traumatic stress disorder.
Earlier: Will Smith To Scare The Crap Out Of Everyone Who Forgot To Pick Up Today’s Paper
• The fat one from N'Sync tries to educate Britney on the art of fading into obscurity.
• Allow us to show you what your favorite celebrities will look like three plastic surgeries from now.
• Rumer Willis' new peroxide-blond 'do would look so much better if she was wearing one of her trademark ugly hats.
• Joel Madden may not have cheated on Nicole with Hilary Duff, but we're guessing he at least ogled her funbags.
• Will Smith's adorable son Jayden to star in the remake of Karate Kid that nobody wanted.
• After earning praise for her navy backless number at the Academy Awards, Hilary Swank takes another fashion risk by dressnig up as a Human X-Ray.
• Paris Hilton thinks Sarah Silverman is a heinous bitch. And, for once, we totally agree!
• Also, Paris' less famous (but equally unempoyed!) brother gets mugged near Penn Station while the bouncers from Stereo point at him and laugh.
• Cuba Gooding Jr. saved a guy's life, then sent himself to bed without dinner.
• After a long-term relationship with beer-bellied Vince Vaughn, whoever would have pegged Jennifer Aniston for a modelizer?
• Bruce Willis credits Will Smith with helping him to accept ex-wife Demi Moore's relationship with Ashton Kutcher. In exchange, Willis conveniently agrees to forget about the time a gangly, lean-muscled Smith tried to convince us he was Mohammad Ali.
• In between getting fake engaged and showing off her "straight off the rack" rack, The Hills' Heidi Montag has also found ample time to stalk former bestie Lauren Conrad.
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