Technically, we can't say we have a crush on this kid, 9-year-old Alec Greven from Castle Rock, Colo., because that would be considered pedophilia and the last thing we need is Chris Hansen showing up on our doorstep asking all sorts of invasive questions. So instead we'll just say that Alec is a genius.
You see, Alec wrote a book detailing how to win over women — all at the ripe age of 8. The masterpiece, titled How to Talk to Girls, helps men way more than any of Mystery's techniques ever could without offending women or treating them like pieces of meat. What a concept!
After the jump, some of Alec's wise words.
Behold, an article of great importance in Saturday's Chicago Sun-Times:
What really thrills me, what really feels liberating in a very personal way, is the official new prominence of Michelle Obama. The president-elect's better half not only has stature but is statuesque. She has coruscating intelligence, beauty, style and — drumroll, please — a butt. (Yes, you read that right: I'm going to talk about the first lady's butt.)
Totally not-offensive article continued, after the jump.
So there was this pretend-expose about the inner sanctum of Daily Show writers, and the first thing that comes up is that 9 out of 10 of them are white males. Whoops. But since they are professional goofers, the whole thing is basically seen as a big in-joke, much like women not voting and subtle 21st century misogyny.
We don’t hire women as a matter of company policy,” joked D. J. Javerbaum, the executive producer (and a part-time Broadway lyricist). “Is that a problem?”
Haha, nope! There was one woman writer for The Daily Show, Rachel Axler, but she left to go work on The Office spin-off.
But while the whole interview is funny and clever, I couldn't help being reminded of is Lauren Weedman's essay on how The Daily Show basically killed her self-esteem when she worked on it, and how she spent the entire time getting mixed messages from the staff, sucking up to an indifferent Jon Stewart, and eventually getting canned "freelanced."
CONTINUED »
MTV is at last acknowledging that the only people who still watch their station are pallid, sad hermits. Thus, their newest project: MTV Switch.
According to its Web site, "Switch is MTV Networks International's Global Climate Change Campaign. We'll be looking for the best ideas and innovations that can help us reinvent how we live in ways that are cool for us and the planet." Neato! What a hip and helpful way to continue pummeling the MTV brand into unsuspecting children's minds.
Judging by one of the Switch campaign's first ads, "Mud," MTV thinks the best way to promote getting outside and doing "cool" stuff for the planet is by playing to young mens' most base desires: big, wet breasts on stranded women. How cool and innovative, guys.
Mud after the jump. CONTINUED »
From the Times' completely embarrassing excuse for a trend story: "Although men are heavy users of the Web, they tend not to visit sites explicitly aimed at them. AOL’s Living channel for women had 16.1 million unique visitors in June, while its Asylum site, a top men’s destination online, had only 3.3 million. ComScore does not even track men’s sites as a category." Because there isn't a category. It's just called XTube.
A group of women calling themselves The New Agenda — which does not mean they are lesbians, but maybe — is so fed up with MSNBC host Chris Matthews and his anti-womyn ways, they're calling for his ouster. This would be mildly newsworthy if, say, The New Agenda got its act together while Hillary Clinton was still running. Or if they weren't stating the obvious.
About that front page story dedicated to lady bloggers, Dateline: BlogHer Conference? Turns out 1,200 words talking about the glass ceiling in blogging does not please the opressed! "According to some ticked critics of the Times, a lack of respect for female bloggers was etched into Jesella's piece itself," blogs Rebecca Traister onSalon. So what, you might not wonder, got their panties tangled up in a USB cord? For starters, that the article was published in the Times' Styles section. CONTINUED »
If you don't know what the term "bodysnarking" means, you've probably still seen it. It's when somebody posts an unflattering picture of someone on their blog or Facebook page, then invites others to comment about how terrible the subject's dimpled thighs look.
Often, it's women posting the photos, and other women saying terrible things about them.
Now, to discuss women feeling bad about their bodies, Fox News brings you: two very attractive women.
The problem with the term “beautiful girl” is that girls are rarely, if ever, beautiful. Girls are pretty and girls are cute — and that’s fine because there’s a time and place for cute (the age 16 and prom, respectively) — but they’re not beautiful. Women are beautiful. Women are sexy.
We’re reminded of how many people ignore that important distinction around this time every year: the lad mag “Hot List” season, when Maxim et al group together the names of every sad, drunk, Botoxed, sutured, bleached, commodified and infected girl in Hollywood and try to pretend the resultant stable has sex appeal. We’re sick of it, so we’ve compiled our own lineup of truly beautiful women.
If there’s one thing we learned from high school, it’s that women hate women. Maybe it’s evolutionary, but girls constantly put one another down, criticize one another and are jealous of any attention or success their peers get.
And unlike Calculus, we haven’t forgotten this lesson as we’ve gone through the world. Women are bitches. It’s just a fact.
Based on the ads for tampons and vaginal perfumes, tabloids are read mostly by women. So it’s no surprise that these magazines devote more space to struggling starlets than to actors who should actually be on suicide watch.
Sexism isn’t to blame, exactly. Women just get off on seeing beautiful women struggle. Serial drunk driver Keifer Sutherland can be saved. But Paris Hilton deserves what’s coming to her.
Sympathy doesn’t sell magazines. Schadenfreude, however, moves units.
Editorial Director
