• Mischa Barton's well-defined ribcage proves hell hath no fury like a woman on a no-carb diet.

• Britney too sick to show up in court, not too sick to drive around in her giant Crashmobile.

• Breaking: Tony Parker (a.k.a. Mr. Eva Longoria) may or may not have sent some banal text messages to a person of the opposite sex.

• Woody Harrelson and Owen Wilson continue their "Fuck it, we're high" tour of 2007.

• Not even Marilyn Manson is crazy enough to sell his own foreskin. Or is he?

It's be a rough week for celebrity photogs. Normally content to snap pictures of Paris Hilton cruising into Hyde as she sings along to her first single and chase Lindsay Lohan off the road, now they're getting roughed up by their very subjects. Sure, celebs fighting with the paprazzi is nothing new (we're pretty sure that's how Justin Timberlake stayed busy in between records). But when, say, Woody Harrelson chokes a TMZ-employed photog – and it's caught on tape – you've caught our interest.

Paparazzo-about-town Josh Levine was on the receiving end of Harrelson's grip Thursday night outside Element in L.A.

As Harrelson left with three women and two men, Levine and other photogs began shooting. Harrelson became irritated and asked Levine to stop shooting. Harrelson then walked over to Levine, put his hand on the camera and asked Levine to stop. Levine said "All I'm doing is my job." Harrelson, who appears in "A Prairie Home Companion," then said, "I've asked you to stop, are you going to stop?" and Levine replied, "Not when you ask me like that." The video then shows Harrelson break the camera and the picture goes dead.

TMZ obtained a second video, shot by another photog, showing the altercation. The photographer began shooting just as Harrelson grabbed Levine's neck.

And over on our coast, the Daily News' John Roca – a staff photog, mind you, and not a paparazzo – was accosted by Jessica Simpson's security manmeat when he broke out his camera to snap pics at Pink Elephant in Southampton.

Dressed in a plunging bustier, miniskirt and iridescent heels, Simpson, 25, was stretched out on a raised divan inside a prime cabana at the Pink Elephant in Southampton, L.I., when Roca approached and asked to photograph her.

"As she turned around, I hit her with a volley of shots. Before you could say 'Madonna,' four guys pounced on me," Roca said.

Simpson's protectors grabbed Roca's camera - but not before he managed to pop out the memory card and stuff it in his pants pocket, he said. When one plunged his meaty fist into Roca's Brooks Brothers duds to retrieve the card, he tore the seam of his pants, the photographer said.

Simpson's talking head Rob Shuter blames Pink Elephant's security for the roughing up, though it's pretty clear it was Jessica's heavies keeping her bloodshoot eyes out of the tabloids.

Harrelson Chokes TMZ Photog — LAPD Investigates [TMZ]
Dustup with Jess' boys not a pretty picture for News fotog [George Rush and Jordan Lite, NYDN]

• Tommy Hilfiger's shirt says he's sorry. And that he should stick to polos and cable knits. [TMZ]

• Love fashion? Love technology? Calvin Klein wants to call you a "technosexual." It sounds like a name for an Internet porn feign … but if Gizmodo and Fleshbot had a baby, we would call it that. [Muckraked]

• Please, somebody just take a picture of Britney Spears and Kevin Federline to end this madness. We don't want to see it … just send it to Us and leave us out of it. [Us Weekly]

• And yet another baby who will never be as hot, popular, or good willed as Shiloh Nouvel. But, she'll have Woody Harrelson as a dad which would be fun. Especially when she's 16 and her friends can come over and play Cheers. [People]

• Mena Suvari gives Jamie Kennedy the old "big eyes" move. (Uh, Mena, we know the whole "funny" thing is endearing, but, come on. You could do better.) [Mollygood]