AFTER Lynne Wu moved to New York from Cincinnati, she realized her body wasn’t prepared for the sheer amount of pavement-pounding required in her adopted city.

“At the end of the day my lower back and ankles would hurt,” said Ms. Wu, 40, a development consultant for nonprofit organizations. “I just wasn’t used to walking that much.”

Ms. Wu discussed her problem with her former yoga teacher in Ohio, who made an unusual suggestion: why not take walking lessons?

Why not? BECAUSE YOU'RE FUCKING 40 YEARS OLD, LYNNE WU!!!!!!

If you take walking lessons, the terrorists win.

From ancient art to celeb heavy activity, yoga has become the preferred work-out of such trend setters as Gwyneth Paltrow, Russell Simmons, and Donna Karen. And what do all these yogis have in common? They've all been members of Jivaukti Yoga Center at one point or another.

And what better way to celebrate the new sanctuary, guaranteed to be even trendier than the Village than a cocktail party.

TONIGHT'S opening of the new Jivamukti Yoga School on Union Square could be interesting. Guests must remove their shoes as they enter, even guests with holes in their socks. All the hors d'oeuvres will be vegan. Yum! The wine is organic.

We get the vegan stuff, but organic wine? Is that like how our instructor used to walk in Starbucks every day and then tell us that outer symbols and possessions are meaningless? Yeah … we just hope they all get drunk and decide to do some crow poses — we'll even buy a $15 class if model breaks her nose.

PALATE STRETCHER [Page Six]