Christmas came early for OK! when the magazine landed Jamie Lynn Spears pregger-gate. Britney isn't the only Spears with baby drama. As OK! reports, Brit's younger sister is three months along, and is keeping it, which makes sense because if Jamie Lynn were getting a hasty abortion, her doctor would have the exclusive.

The other mags were left to fend for themselves. Us Weekly fell for Heidi and Spencer's publicity trap and covered the couple's "decision" to call off their wedding. Star resorted to the best and worst beach bodies, which is the celebrity news equivalent of a mediocre slice of pizza. Not bad exactly, but what's the point? In Touch used blue chip Brangelina drama to lure in readers.
Life & Style shocked us with news that Britney's kids are being tested for drugs. Except this week, K-Fed is in the hot seat. Brit's probably pissed that all these cover stories aren't about her. Expect another public meltdown in time for next week's tabs.

Us Weekly
Cover: Why Heidi called off her wedding to Spencer! Hint: they were never going to get married in the first place. The couple tells Us that they are still together, just not getting hitched any time soon. Heidi goes on to say she hates Spencer's humor: "I don't like being the butt of jokes." Then she must hate America, too.
• The Jessica Jinx: Dallas Cowboys fans are blaming Simpson for quarterback Tony Romo's awful performance over the weekend. We would tell her to go away, but it seems she's already working on that herself.
• In gossip news that our little sisters care about: Ashley Tisdale got a nose job and her fans are angry. Ash had to cancel two performances because she still hadn't fully recovered from her surgery to correct a deviated septum. Us is on the case, bringing in doctors to point out that the bump on her nose that magically disappeared had nothing to do with her breathing problems.

In Touch
Cover: Brad's left holding the kids while Angie parties with another man! You know what that means: Divorce. Here's our New Year's resolution for 2008: Stop reading any stories about Brangelina. In the meantime, In Touch is reporting: Angelina walked out on Brad, drank a lot, and now the two are having relationship problems!
• How Britney looks so thin in her latest music video: it's called technology, and it's been around for since the wheel. Brit also decided it would be a wise decision to hire a body double for some of the shots. Sounds good in theory, until you remember that we see pictures of her every day with a frappachino in hand, and we know she ain't that thin, y'all.
• Eva Longoria and husband Tony Parker are the latest celebrity couple to deal with rumors of infidelity. In Touch thinks there might be something to the claim that Tony cheated, because he visits strip clubs with his friends! In which case, every boyfriend and husband in America is cheating.

Life & Style
Cover: Britney's kids are going to be tested for drugs! But it's not what you think: This time, it's Brit who has ordered the tests, claiming that Kevin has been smoking pot around the kids. Seriously? These boys cold be left in a lion den with meat tied around their waists and it would still be a better environment than what they're going through.
• Pam Anderson and husband Rick Salomon are getting a divorce! Ha ha, just kidding. Apparently, Pam filed for divorce after having a fight with Rick, but once they made up, she decided to stand by her man.
• Did Heidi Montag get another boob job? Does anybody care? Life & Style thinks she did, because her boobs looked a teeny bit bigger in a dress she wore to the wrap party for The Hills. Hey, L&S: it's called a push-up bra.

Star
Cover: The 46 best and worst winter beach bodies! Because the Jennifer Love Hewitt scandal didn't make everyone above a size 2 feel bad enough about themselves. The spread features many size 6s being labeled as "too fat," along with some seriously disturbing pictures of Tara Reid's too skinny stomach.
• Lindsay Lohan seems to have a thing for her friends' exes. Case in point: Hillary Duff ex, Aaron Carter, Paris Hilton exes Stavros Niarchos and James Blunt and Britney exes K-Fed and J.R. Rotem (her latest fling). Taking relationship cues from Paris and Britney might not be the best idea, Linds. You'd probably be better off sticking to women.
• Star shows some tough love, telling LC that Brody just isn't into her. Shocking, since millions of viewers couldn't see the evidence every single week on The Hills. We're surprised Star isn't flying off the racks this week.

OK!
Cover: For those of you who haven't gotten out of bed today, Jamie Lynn Spears is preggers! That Spears clan is on a roll this year. Brit's little sister is three months along, and says that she decided to keep the baby and looks to Mama Spears as her role model. In which case, get ready for more head shavings, drug use and teen pregnancies in the years to come.
• Tyra Banks is OK!'s most inspirational woman of the year! Which really tells you something about the magazine. Tyra talks about how she's such a great role model and how much she loves herself. Shocker!
• The 2007 news makers! Because we haven't had enough of those year-end wrap-ups, OK! reminds us of why we're grateful 2007 is over: Sex and the City wouldn't die, nobody wore underwear, Sanjaya took over American Idol, Britney hit rock-bottom (hopefully), and Anna Nicole's daughter's cross-eyed face was plastered all over the tabs. What a year!