We're switching things up a bit this week: Instead of simply summing up the tabloids, we're presenting the week's winners and losers in the eyes of the magazines. Which publications favor which celebrities? And does the relationship change from week to week?

This time around, Britney seems to have won back the love of the tabs, because not a single bad story was written about her. The mags are split on Lindsay — some say she's in a happy and stable lesbian relationship; others declare that she is off the wagon (again).

And congrats are in order to the biggest loser of the week, Jessica Simpson, who is apparently pathetic and in danger of losing boyfriend Tony Romo. When even the tabloids are pitying you, you know there's a problem.

Us Weekly
Winners: Shiloh Jolie-Pitt beats out Suri Cruise as the featured baby of the week with a 6-page spread compared to Suri's 2-pager. What an honor. Us sticks up for American Idol contestant David Archuleta's rumored stage dad. The change in Britney's life is "amazing."
Losers: Every other tabloid fails — the mag devotes a spread to telling us you can't trust any of the other tabs, because they make up lies. Mary Kate Olsen also gets the cold shoulder this week as Us declares that no boys like the way she looks, unless she's wearing "stripper-esque heels."

In Touch
Winners: Britney Spears is lifted in the eyes of In Touch this week when the mag reveals that she "finally" wants her kids back. Anyone who is skinny also gets a pass — including Heidi Montag — because this issue is all about looking great for summer. Priorities, people.
Losers: Ashlee Simpson is made to look like a terrible person this week as In Touch proclaims that she's a drunk who put her new fetus at risk, and Lindsay Lohan is treated as scum when the mag reveals she's "out of control again." Katie and Tom are also in trouble, as the tab delves even deeper into their awful sham of a marriage.

Life & Style
Winners: Angelina gets the victim treatment with an eye-catching headline that simply refers to a twisted ankle. Lindsay is "happier than ever" in her new lesbian relationship with Samantha Ronson. Ashlee Simpson has a huge engagement ring, which is all that really matters in life, no?
Losers: Carrie Underwood is made out to be the vengeful other woman in the Tony Romo-Jessica Simpson relationship. Desperate Lynne Spears cheats on OK! with a Life & Style exclusive in which she says she's upset that daughter Jamie Lynn is preggers. Obvs.

Star
Winners: Britney gets the best treatment of the bunch, with Star proclaiming that she's got her old body back. Tom Brady and girlfriend Gisele Bundchen are portrayed as the caring adults trying to bond with Tom's son as jealous and needy mom Bridget Moynahan keeps them at bay. And the Kardashians aren't divas, because they put on their own lip gloss. Or something.
Losers: Renee Zellweger pissed off one of Star's editors this week, because she has a spread featuring the most unattractive pictures possible along with the headline "Renee: Drinking and Shrinking!" And Whitney Port of The Hills is apparently a man-stealing devil.

OK!
Winners: Katie Holmes, according to the mag, has a happy marriage and is a "true fighter" who will "ultimately win out." Britney gets the congratulatory treatment as OK! declares she's "back in action." American Idol contestant David Cook is made out to be a hero due to his moving performance while his dying brother watched from the audience.
Losers: Jessica Simpson is pitied this week as OK! reveals boyfriend Tony Romo's family hates her and wishes he would get back with ex Carrie Underwood. And, to wrap things up, we're treated to even more drunken LiLo pictures.