Every week, there are so many eventful developments that we (almost) can’t keep track of them all! So, for your convenience and ours, we’ve dispatched the indispensable Intern Whitney to remind us what about this past week made it so damned special.

• Ken Baker left Us Weekly but will live on in our hearts and on E!

• Britney Spears' relationship with that paparazzi guy continued; the media reacted by preparing her obit.

• Lauren Conrad left Teen Vogue, but KFC offered to cheer The Hills' starlet up.

• Zac Efron continued in his quest to prove he's not gay.

• Thanks to the writers strike, we got three hours of our life back.

• Tom Cruise got even creepier, if that's possible.

• Oprah continued her mission to take over the world.

• Some kid in Australia stole our hearts with his attitude, and then quickly lost our hearts when a Busted-Tees decided to capitalize on said attitude.

• American Idol — and the crazies — came back with a vengeance, but with weaker ratings.

• The Tiger Woods scandal wouldn't be hung.