Every week, there are so many eventful developments in media and celebrity news that we (almost) can’t keep track of them all! So, for your convenience and ours, we’ve dispatched grabby handy Intern Joseph to remind us exactly what about this week made it so damned special.

• Is it wrong that we're more upset about losing non-existing Cocktail Weekly than we are about losing Jane?

• But maybe that's just because we're sick of hearing Jane Pratt's voice.

• It turns out lesbians and gays enjoy playing sports. Or at least ogling those that do.

• Queen Elisabeth suffers a crowning defeat.

• Lady Bird Johnson dies and all we got was a lousy story about Jessica Simpson's boobs.

• Lindsay Lohan wants it all: love, marriage and the house with the white picket fence. With ladyfriend Samantha Ronson.

• You know Rosie O'Donnell's career is in trouble when she starts recycling material to a lesbian-packed audience.

• Angelina Jolie is too busy being depressed and anorexic to care about the world anymore.

• The new Fox business channel looks to include more annoying talking heads.