• Lindsay needs to take lessons from clepto Spears & Co. You know, if she really wants the media to pay attention to another boring Elle photo shoot.

• Who knew the Southern Voice would be the ultimate gay playground? We thought that was Genre's territory.

• Braggy Anderson Cooper alludes to that time that he prematurely ejaculated with a woman man himself.

• ABC makes more excuses why their news people can't seem to actually… well, speak.

• Janice Min settles for a mere $2.5 million Wenner contract, you know, to keep up those outstanding sales.

• Remember last week when the tabs weren't all the same magazine? Well this week they pulled a 180 and showed us that they actually are all the same, except for OK! who seems relentless enough to pay for their covers.

• Janice Min better have the guns to back this week's return of her notorious Fake News piece. We hear that Mark Pasetsky could totally take Janice Min in a fight. At least over make up.

• Whoopie Goldberg to replace Rosie O'Donnell as another outspoken women. She's all ready to send women's rights back 10 or 15 years.

• Thanks to Murdoch's ownership, WSJ staffers are disgruntled more than usual.

• Conde Nast starts exploiting the Indian market with the latest celebrity fashions and make-up tips. Though a Roberto Cavalli will never outsell a traditional salwar kameez.