After the Iowa caucus, many candidates will have to admit their adolescent aspirations for president are both absurd and financially unfeasible. But before they go back to political obscurity, we’re taking a quick look at a few of the wackos who want to rule the free world this week.

Who: Mike Gravel

Current Job: Currently retired, former Senator and House Speaker from Alaska.

Currently Polling: 1% [CNN]

Why You Should Be Happy About His Poll Numbers: At 77, this former Senator is basically your crazy grandfather running for president with a bit more political experience. He wants a complete withdraw from Iraq, which is intriguing, but he also wants to make it a felony to stay there at all, which seems a bit much.

In April, at the democratic debate he said Osama bin Laden is so happy that the U.S. invaded Iraq, “he must have been rolling in his blankets.” So what exactly does rolling in blankets say about the existential struggle for happiness, again?

TV Campaign: Gravel doesn't really have the funds for spots on TV—dude isn't even on the ballot everywhere—but his YouTube clips are quite entertaining.

Too bad Mike Gravel didn’t run for president back when hallucinogens were popular and he had all his facilities.

New York Times Mentions Since 2007: 33, starting on March 25.

The Good News: This guy is the only funny thing happening in the 2008 campaign.

The Bad News: Political vanity does not diminish with age.