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The 4 Levels Of Celebrity Famedom

We all want to leave our mark on humanity, one way or another. Some people do it by buying newspaper companies or getting involved in politics or starting a shitty rock band in their garage that only plays MGMT covers. Whatever, the point is: We all have dreams of grandiosity, of walking down a red carpet or into the Oval Office and having people know who we are. But even if you get to these levels of fame, how long does it really last?

Ways to be Famous How Much Attention You'll Receive

Since the beginning of time, this has been the way people get their names in the history books. Who cares that your mother was sort of a slut when you end up as Hamlet, right guys? Sort of famous. The problem with kings, presidents, or any sort of feudal lord really is that they're only big in the culture they've come to rule. Quick: Who owned Scotland in 1603? You think James VI King of Scots worked his ass off to be some Jeopardy trivia question?

This is a great way to get known, especially if you engage in some international hijinks like get caught on tape doing heroin, or adopt a baby from from a third-world country. Really fucking famous, if you're in the top 2% echelon of your profession. Otherwise you're just a studio musician or are characterized on Cityfile as "the doughy" Philip Seymour Hoffman and listed under "former addicts."

Thank you Andy Warhol and the Internet: without those two, you'd never have otherwise mediocre and slightly slow children of media tycoons, bloggers, and reality stars getting the best coke in Williamsburg/LA/what have you. So much attention. Too bad it will only be for that ubiquitous 15 minutes before Us Weekly stops returning your calls and everyone is like Spencer who?"

Celebrity Murderer
We might not remember any films starring Sharon Tate, but 40 years later, we're still obsessed with her killers. America's fascination with serial killers and celebrity stalkers sometimes overshadows the stars themselves…how else can you explain why Mark David Chapman is still infinitely more interesting than Jared Leto…or why we still confuse Jason and Patrick Bateman? Infinite amounts. Superstars may come and go, but for better or worse, the surest way to make it big in Tinseltown is knocking off a couple of their brightest."


Comments (4)
No. 1 · trixieT

nice use of an Ingres painting.

Posted: Mar 31, 2009 at 9:56 am · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 2 · fanofgrendel

The famous have fans.

Posted: Mar 31, 2009 at 12:42 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]

Jossip left out the 5th level of Celebrity Infamy (BTW - for you 99.6ers, Famedome is not a word ): Arrogance!

DTOM - stop the madness

Posted: Mar 31, 2009 at 2:17 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 4 · drew

Nope! Famedome isn't and it certainly doesn't make sense. Famedom, on the other hand, isn't a misspelling, merely a word that I created. (Though I can't really take credit: It's been used in the Times and the San Francisco Chronicle

Posted: Mar 31, 2009 at 2:43 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
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