Much to the disappointment of school-aged children everywhere, Labor Day is approaching at a rapid clip.

Which means that autumn is just around the corner, and with it, comes a much-needed reduction in humidity, the beautiful foliage and of course, the gigantic, way-too-heavy-to-fit-in-your-work-bag fashion magazines, advertising way-too-expensive-to-actually-afford fall wardrobes, shown on way-too-skinny-to-be-anything-but-depressing fashion models.

Thankfully, WWD's Memo Pad is on hand to give us all the boring deets (read: page counts and advertising numbers!) and to take a sneak peek at the various women pre-selected (by the high powered editors-in-chief) to grace the respective mags' covers for this veritable ad sales bonanza.

Most of the choices were both conservative and unsurprising (excepting Anna Wintour's inexplicable partiality for Sienna Miller) however Allure made the unfortunate decision of resting all their September hopes and dreams on Britney "Poops on Zac Posen" Spears, to which WWD had only this to say:

"Why would a magazine about beauty put on its cover an unstable woman who shaved her own head, went to rehab and is a regular on celebrity weeklies' worst dressed lists?"

The answer, according to Allure EIC Linda Wells? "Bald is beautiful." (Okay, fine, what she technically said was, "I thought we could present the profile as her comeback. Perhaps Britney's story would be redemptive.")

Unfortunately, it wasn't meant to be. Despite Wells' somewhat unrealistic expectations, the new and improved Brit ultimately "missed four scheduled interviews…took the photos and bailed." Insert the obligatory ['Oops, She Did It Again!'] joke *here.*