Whoever is employed as Sam Gosling's publicist, congratulations. You somehow got Newsweek to manufacture an entire article promoting your psychology professor client, his new book Snoop: What Your Stuff Says About You, and the premise that the crap you keep in your house might say something about you as a person. Well, no crap.

As part of his dog and pony show, Gosling examines a Newsweek reporter's office, probably because that's where the interview took place, and probably because the interview was, otherwise, going nowhere.

The reporter with the messy floor, for example, struck Gosling as most likely a male in his early 30s. (Correct.) He also intuited the reporter is an extravert, emotionally stable, open, creative, liberal, disorganized, has a quirky sense of humor, and is "a good person to get a party going." (All pretty accurate, says the reporter.) Another, more austere office, lacking in personal photos, indicated its occupant could be introverted, slightly neurotic, a bit of a hoarder, and "possibly a little lonely." Pretty basic stuff, right? But effective snooping is not as simple as equating pictures with popularity, or assuming someone with a lot of CDs likes music. "It's dangerous to look for the things that stick out," Gosling says. "You want to look for themes. The meaning of one thing modifies the meaning of another." In the case of the extraverted reporter, that means a bottle of Hooters hot sauce on the bookshelf doesn't necessarily signify a regular Hooters patron: it's probably there for ironic effect. (The reporter says: no comment.)

You mean the reporter with the messy floor was disorganized? Quick, people, run to Barnes & Noble!