"Satisfaction Guaranteed." Just two little words, adorning a small sign in the store window of Custom Cleaners, a family owned laundry service. And yet, ostensibly the reason an administrative law judge in Washington D.C. slapped his local dry cleaner with a $54 million lawsuit.

The real impetus? A missing pair of suit trousers.

Fortunately, the plaintiff (a wackjob who gives Larry Seidlin a run for his money) failed in his self-imposed goal of "suing the pants off" of the offending cleaners.

The Washington Post reports:

WASHINGTON - A judge ruled Monday in favor of a dry cleaner that was sued for $54 million over a missing pair of pants.

Bartnoff ordered Pearson to pay the court costs of defendants Soo Chung, Jin Nam Chung and Ki Y. Chung…The Chungs said the trial had taken an enormous financial and emotional toll on them and exposed them to widespread ridicule.

But that's not the best part.

The two-day trial earlier this month drew a standing-room-only crowd and overshadowed the drunken driving trial of former Mayor Marion Barry.

Yep that's right, no one even mentioned Marion Barry. Except the crack researching team over at ABC's World News Tonight.