The nerdy kids over at The Economist face their worst fears and hit a newsstand in search for tabloids. Their goal? To discover the dark underbelly behind the gloss of these quote-unquote "trashy magazines" of American Media Inc. (known to most as necessary gym gear and subway literature).

According to these investigatory journalists, the tabloids are victims of their own sales secrets. Translation: AMI isn't selling covers because all the mags look alike.

Half-a-dozen publications now use exclamation marks on their covers to describe the divorces, pregnancies, affairs, eating disorders and assorted depravities of the same small group of celebrities—notably Jessica Simpson, Britney Spears, “TomKat” (Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes), Jennifer Aniston and, most important, Angelina Jolie and her “bump”.

Hello? They totally forgot the nicknames K-Fed and Brangelina — not to mention the A-Listers of eating disorders, Lindsay Lohan and Nicole Richie. Despite those few additions, though, The Economist may still think that the tabs will run out of celebrities.

Mabye the celeb pool will continue to shrink. But we just know the endless stories of celebrities breaking up, throwing up, and public pantie-flashing will keep everyone employed for at least another five years.

Trashy magazines junked! [The Economist]