Though Miles Jaffe's The Hamptons Dictionary: The Essential Guide to Class Warfare dropped on April 1, it's taken us until now to 1) pull it out of the envelope it arrived in; 2) find ourselves in a situation that warrants it. But now that we're fully into Hamptons season, learned our lessons from Shallon Lester, and know all the hotspots to make fun of and secretly patronize, we finally cracked it open. And what a wealth of information it is! Especially coming from someone who hates all of the things he defines.

For instance, did you know that a "golden ghetto" is "an area with an above average concentration of affluent housing and high-end stores; especially where traditional mom and pop businesses have been replaced by international chain stores such as Coach and Ralph Lauren"?

Or that a "millionaire" is defined as "1) a poor person; 2) one who cannot afford a second (or first) home in the Hamptons"?

And "renterror" refers to "a summer tenant from hell," a few of which most of you summer sharers probably know personally?

Would it surprise you, then, to learn the author of the book, Mr. Jaffe, a Hamptons native, is also the proprietor of NukeTheHamptons.com, a surprisingly involved website he created to illustrate how the uber-rich are ruining the East End? Jaffe, in fact, hates the Hamptons, and would love to stick some yellowcake under the homes of Marta Stewart and Nick & Toni's. (All in good fiction fun, of course.)