We've never had any particular inclination to crash a NYO bash. Primarily because we always envisioned their ho-hum gatherings as being garish salmon-themed affairs, involving a sherry-toting Jared Kushner, a martini-guzzling Spencer Morgan and impromptu political debates with cerebral media mensch Michael Calderone.

But that, of course, was before we knew about the illegal escorts. [P6]