High school can be a tricky social field to navigate. Luckily, we have shows like Gossip Girl, which give viewers a totally realistic account of what it's like to be a hyper-sexualized trust fund baby in New York, and whose characters are the guideposts for America's youth. Based on that thesis, let's count the subtle references to prep school etiquette in the Observer's 2,000 words on 15-year-old starlet Taylor Momsen, who plays the Brooklyn-poor social-climber Jenny Humphry. This exercise guarantees to educate us about tween culture.

References to Pinkberry: 6

Conclusion: Vilkomerson is either very hungry, or is getting paid to promote the world's most Jappy fro-yo. True, a lot of girls under 18 eat that stuff because it's low-cal, but has Vilkomerson ever heard of Red Mango? Way better.

References to pedophiliac tendencies one might feel towards Momsen: Just one, but it's plenty creepy: "Boys and men—in their teens and 20s and beyond—can’t help but be drawn to her coltish beauty (even as that fact could make them uncomfortable)."

Conclusion: Ew. Maybe if Vilkomerson was trying to make a statement about the taboo/coveted ideal of child sexuality this would make sense, but the author seems content to pin the Lolita label on Momsen and move on.

References to Momsen's sexuality and long legs: Half the article. The Gossip Girl books imagined Momsen's character as a "short, busty, curly-haired gal who is constantly getting trampled on." But then the show's creators decided, "We wanted a character that in this journey of trying to fit in at school might actually succeed in her goal."

Conclusion: Surprise! It's impossible for girls to achieve their dreams if they are curly haired, busty, or under-sexualized at fifteen.

[NYO]