When one thinks "straight-to-DVD," images of The Hottie and The Nottie might come to mind. Actually, that movie did open in theatres, grossing a blockbuster $27,696 its opening weekend. But it's all the same.

But here's one straight-to-DVD project you can get behind: The Onion Movie. The fake news network brings you "crucial stories," like an industry recall of motor vehicles with neck belts, which cause decapitation. And a cameo from Steven Segal, who is finally in on the joke that his acting chops carry a certificate from The Freddie Prinze Jr. School of Acting, cement this as a must-pirate DVD.