Now that Britney has officially crashed and burned, we can turn our attention to the other drama of the night, Kid Rock’s fight with Tommy Lee.

Fortunately for you, Tommy Lee offers a ranting incoherent explanation for what transpired on Tommy Lee.TV.

Read on to find out what really started the off-air fracas and to muse over the fact that rocker/sex-god Tommy Lee has the writing style of a 13 year-old girl. (Ellipses his).

Yeah!! …..here I am minding my own biz having a great time with my friend Criss Angel (magician) and watching the MTV awards in the front row saying hello to all my friends……Pamela comes and sits on my lap who I love and adore….and also say hello to my friend Travis Barker and his wife!…..and i get a text from another friend P. Diddy and he says come sit with me…..and he's sitting with Miss HOT Megan FOX so I go over and sit with P! Not a minute later and Alicia Keys starts her amazing performance….("I apologize sweetie…..I had nothing to do with the timing and disrespect")……back to the stupid-ness!!….so….. I get a tap on the shoulder from Kid Pebble…I stand up and embrace him with a semi hug and say "Hey dude…What up"?? He punches me in the face…..well if ya wanna call it that!?….more like a bitch slap!…….Wuss!! Anyway….i go to knock this jealous country bumpkin the f$%k OUT….and before I can have a meeting with my fist and his ugly ass mug ….security guards… grab me and haul my ass outta the award show! So I'm fine and of course leave to my room with police and owner of the Palm's George Maloof……the rest is paper work and bullshit!… Anyway…… I would like to apologize to Alicia and George and MTV for the disrespectful bullshit caused by a piece of shit called Kid Pebble!!

Much Love always!!…..Tommy!!

One can only assume that Kid Pebble and Tommy’s secretaries are working right now for a meeting between the former’s ugly ass mug and the latter’s fists.