Angelina Jolie. Christina Aguilera. Jessica Alba. Jamie Lynn Spears. Matthew McConaughey. These are all boobs who have sold their baby photos to the highest bidder, making the action of Reproducing While A Celebrity a very profitable business venture. And while money (from $1-15 million) may be the motivating factor in all these cases human trafficking, surely there must be some way to distinguish the types of celebrities who turn their children in revenue generating commodities, yes? Well, somebody is trying to make the case.

And it's Slate, of course. They've created a field guide for expectant celebrities to reference when deciding how to proceed when the tabloids are calling. We'll spare you a bullet-pointed listlce of the categories, but they range from The Narcissist With a Heart of Gold (i.e. Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, because they supposedly donate the cheques to charity) to The Prudish Self-Promoter (i.e. Tori Spelling).

Everything is mostly accurate here, except for the placement of Nicole Kidman.

Slate throws her in the Reclusive Artist Type section, for her and Keith Urban's decision not to sell baby Sunday's photos, and instead, perhaps, releasing photos to the press at large without any exclusivity deal or money changing hands. The decision supposedly makes her a pious celebrity, but really it's just a public relations move, to distance herself from crazy husband Tom Cruise, who offered up exclusive baby Suri shots to Vanity Fair in exchange for a friendly article normalizing his marriage to Katie Holmes.