We're not exactly jumping on couches over the story of Melanie Martinez, the actress who hosts a kids show, but a few years back also appeared on some Public Service Announcements about safe sex. We heard about her intentionally humorous "you can't get pregs if you have butt sex" quotes last week … around the same time the news broke that she got fired from her pre-scool playground supervisor job.

Today, Rebecca Dana has some in-depth reporting — but those Observer folks got us pretty wasted last night, and we blame them for not being able to get through an entire media article. So we stopped after reading this, since, well, it's guaranteed to be the most funny-filled quote of the week.

“I did them as an actor, and, you know, I thought they were really funny,” Ms. Martinez said. “It was on a really timely issue that was part of the current social climate, if you will, and I thought they were funny, and I did them because they were funny, and I knew that I could add my humor to it, and I did them.”

So, in case you didn't get that, she did them. And they were funny. And she did them because they were funny. And they were funny because she did them. We never did find out what Mr. Rogers' past was, but, no way it's funnier than doing something so funny.

Even Mister Rogers Had a Past [Rebecca Dana, New York Observer]