When "Social Rank" first came out, listing socialites in order of importance (the Tins at the top, Jessica Joffe somewhere near the bottom) we had a good belly laugh. Then, we sort of forgot about the social rankers for awhile. Until we got the notice that they moved to socialiterank.com. So, of course, we had to check again.

And man are they full of some good tips. Take today's feature, for example, on how not to end up like Tori Spelling. The top five ways to preserve your money and dignity and never look poor include "be nice to people" and "go to the Learning Annex." But our favorite tip on how not to look poor is by far number 5: "don't look poor."

Designers are any socialite’s necessity. You wouldn’t believe how many socialites are actually on the poverty level by real blue-blood standards. But their relationship with fashion houses and racks of borrowed clothes dictate the opposite. Suck up to the designers, drop by their studios, bring them food and never physically look poor.

Those poor, poor impoverished socialites. It's really gotten pretty bad. Some of them are even working. And wearing Banana Republic! What's the world coming to?

Top Five Ways to Avoid a Tori-Like Money Disaster [Socialite Rank]