So we’ve gone a little crazy with People’s archive of covers — 34 years X 52-ish issues a year = too much content — and one of the better searches we’ve done is “Sexiest Man Alive.”

There have been the classic choices — ZOMG Brad Pitt!! — but also some incredibly bad choices. For example:

• Nick Nolte (a-hem)
• Sean Connery at 60 (”Older, Balder…and Better!”)
• L.A. Law’s Harry Hamlin (quote: “Certainly when I look in the mirror, I don’t get turned on.”)
• JFK, Jr., who is dead, which makes us sad, but okay, he’s still incredibly attractive

So what can we learn by perusing the archive of People’s sexiest men?

First off, we learned they didn’t name a sexy fella in 1994. And also:

George Clooney, Brad Pitt, and Richard Gere were all honored with repeat performances , two covers each, though one of Gere’s was 1993’s “Sexiest Couple Alive” cover, with Cindi Crawford.

And one overall trend? People’s definition of a “sexy” man seems to be white (only Denzel Washington made the exception, in 1996) and, surprisingly, “old” (seven of their choices were over the hill at 40-and-above).

And now, the Sexiest Men Alive, supposedly, from 1985 to 2007, in order: