The Grey Lady continues to amaze us, once again coming out of her prudish, insular shell to share this tongue-in-cheek** look at the unexpected pitfalls of High Definition technology.

Yes, once again the NYT has concerned itself with smut, only this time, instead of bemoaning the unfortunate decline in sex sales, today's pornographic installment centers on the dark side: of High Definition: varicose veins, cellulite, "ill-placed pimples," and—of course—droopy boobs.

And while the editorial commentary is certainly enjoyable, (e.g. "[t]he XXX industry has gotten too graphic, even for its own tastes"), clearly the crux of the article lies within its memorable quotations.

There's Stormy Daniels with the cons of HD porn:

“The biggest problem is razor burn,” said Stormy Daniels, an actress, writer and director. Ms. Daniels is also a skeptic. “I’m not 100 percent sure why anyone would want to see their porn in HD,” she said.

Acclaimed filmmaker Robby D. with its merits:

“It puts you in the room,” said the director known as Robby D., whose films include Sexual Freak. “You can see things you cannot see with the naked eye. You see skin blemishes; you see cottage cheese…But some cellulite is not necessarily a bad thing. It’s kind of sexy.”

And finally, our personal favorite, top pornographic director, Joone, offering some friendly advice to those actresses plagued by body-image insecurities:

Joone does not use a last name, but he does use a number of techniques to keep his films blemish-free. They include giving out lifestyle tips.

“I tell the girls to work out more, cut down on the carbs, hit the treadmill,” he said.

And with the NYT backing all these in-depth, prying investigations into the porn industry, we're left wondering just what exactly should we get Times' head honchos Christmas next year: Debbie Does Dallas…Again or Sexual Freak?

Yeah, we're leaning towards Sexual Freak, too. The High-Def, digitally-remastered director's cut, of course.

**or other bodily orifice