Jim Kelly knows how to party. You saw the beer in his bathtub at his fete for Andrew Sullivan, yah? Now repurpose those antics for Time magazine's 100 Most Influential People party at Jazz at Lincoln Center (at, ahem, the Time Warner Center) and throw in actual A-listers instead of Peter Kaplan and his Observers (though we'd much rather hang with those types) and you've got media personalities – usually so eager to fawn over themselves – crowding around Jennifer Lopez to watch her blink.

We were there for the free bubbly, but people watching being our favorite sport, it would've been rude for us not to show off.

• The affable Stephen Colbert revealed he had no idea C-Span demanded his White House Correspondents Dinner speech be pulled off YouTube. "I've got a two week break," he told us. "My assistant is collecting all the newspaper articles."

• Vanity Fair coverboy Anderson Cooper shaking hands with Regis Philbin, and, we imagine, making no mention of mama Gloria Vanderbilt's alien feet in the VF photospread.

• Bill O'Reilly brushing up on his expressions of deep thought while chatting with Mort Zuckerman. Shortly thereafter, O'Reilly professed to us he doesn't read "those Internet things" so no, he doesn't follow our meta coverage of him.

• A glam Jennifer Lopez and her surprisingly unfrightening husband Marc Anthony acting puzzlingly social. We showed up immediately after these two, trailed them on the red carpet and rode the elevator upstairs with 'em. Her giggle lets her off the hook for those conspicuous grey hairs.

• Harvey Weinstein running around looking for Will Smith. Not once did we see Harvey touch a silver tray of hor d'oeuvres.

• Will Smith shaking hands with anybody who approached, but not letting them walk away before introducing his brother. He told us he was most excited to meet Nancy Cox (he's all giddy about flu pandemics, given his filming of 2007's bio-thriller I Am Legend). He also mentioned the only time he gets pissed when people sing "na na na na na-na-na-na" from "Gettin' Jiggy Wit It" was at black tie events. We didn't spot Jada Pinkett Smith, so we assume she was off making wickedly bad music with Wicked Wisdom.

• Martha Stewart was very appreciative when we brought up Blueprint. Very appreciative. Did we mention the very part of her appreciation?

• Arianna Huffington, doing what Arianna Huffington does best: giggling with enthusiasm.

• Ann Coulter mulled about acting as liason between good and evil.

• The rest of the rest: Queen Rania, looking royal. George Lucas, looking important. Lauren Bush and David Lauren, looking like they're ready for Hamptons season to kick off.

We're sure there was more to be seen at the actual dinner (like Condoleeza Rice denying she's making a presidential run), but we had to split to watch David Blaine succeed in making an ass out of himself.