While we would've thoroughly enjoyed knowing upstate New York – where our j-school education began as youthful naivete and blossomed into brand name smarts &ndash played home to the fakest wedding since Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley (okay, Liza and David's was a little more recent), all signs point to farce.

When Rush & Molloy suggested Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes would be wedding at the Mirbeau Spa in Skaneateles (near Tommy's Syracuse birthplace), our fingers longed for a soothing spa manicure to prepare. Then we heard today that it wouldn't be Mirbeau but rather the Sherwood Inn (same town, different venue), and any good gossip knows that when the story starts changing it must be true.

So we – prepare yourselves! – picked up the phone, pushed some buttons and made some calls. And the results? Blanketed denials (interspersed with laughter and claims of fielding similar questions for weeks).

Reps at both Mirbeau and Sherwood denied the couple were planning a wedding for tomorrow and, contrary to R&M's claims, Mirbeau says the duo have never stepped foot on their 12 acre lot.

So calm yourselves, as there will likely be no upstate New York wedding for TomKat. But we're sure you'll pick up a copy of People next week no matter what B-list bride is featured.