Even though I RSVP'd for Matt Lauer's Friar Roast last Friday, I wasn't allowed in to the actual lunch, and had to hang out at the "red carpet event" at midtown's Hilton and then go home. Très misleading, though I did get to touch Mario Lopez.

But apparently I wasn't the only member of the press tricked into "attending" the event, only to be told once I got there that I wasn't allowed in: "At the roast — where Lauer had daily press banned from the actual lunch — Cruise delivered a slide show message to Lauer that made it seem like they were old buddies."

Why would Matt Lauer ban press from his roast? Afraid that we might find out about his secret friendship with Tom Cruise, after the two had that very public argument on The Today Show in 2006, about Scientology and psychology, that ended with Cruise telling Lauer he knew nothing about the history of psychology? Snoooooze. It was more of a scandal that the Friar's Club would put Dr. Hibbert Al Roker in charge of the roast.

Katie Couric couldn't resist making Tom Cruise's appearance at Lauer's roast into a clever little bon mot:

"How cool was it that Tom Cruise came? Matt, don't worry about that interview. Tom wanted to be the only man in the room who people thought was gay."

Ooh, clap clap clap. Someone give this lady a mic and a night at Comix: we have a feeling she's going to be huge someday.