Comedy Central is the latest victim to be claimed by Cruise control. Tom Cruise, the bad humor man, ordered the network to cancel the scheduled re-run of "Trapped in the Closet." This Scientology unfriendly episode caused fellow Scientologist Isaac Hayes to quit the show while reminding us (as if we needed it) that Cruise is closeted homo.

And because people refuse to stop putting this guy in movies, he had the Paramount power of Mission Impossible: 3 to throw around. Cruise threatened to boycott the premiere of MI3 and to cancel all publicity for the movie if Comedy Central producers didn't pull the show.

(Which would have spared us the photos of him dragging around his 14 month pregnant girlfriend, who, as you remember, filmed a sex scene for her movie Thank You for Smoking that mysteriously disappeared.)

This is of course only further proof that the collapse of Radar was wholly based on Tom's threats to have his alien gods impregnate the female staffers and lock Maer Roshan in a closet.

HI EXCLUSIVE! Scientologist Tom Cruise Blackmails Viacom [Inside Hollywood]
CRUISE CONTROL SCARES 'PARK' [Page Six]