New Yorkers are notorious for cozying up in the smoggy bubble that is our city and pretending like there is no other world besides the five boroughs (or two to three for most).

But novelist Tom Wolfe is encouraging New Yorkers to spread their wings.

In the upcoming book, "Telling True Stories," the "Bonfire of the Vanities" novelist says he watched in amazement at a NASCAR race last month as a National Rifle Association honcho got a rousing standing ovation, and was followed by a minister who "asked the Lord to look out for these brave drivers and these loyal fans . . . in the name of Thy Only Son, Christ Jesus."

Writes Wolfe: "Anyone who introduced an event that way in San Francisco or New York would risk arrest for a hate crime. New York writers really must cross the Hudson River, and writers in Los Angeles really must go as far as the San Joaquin Valley. Most of the meaning of America lies in between the coasts, I'm afraid."

A hate crime? Has he never even been to New Jersey? We get that this is the best place in the world because everyone is a yoga-going, repressed, liberal alcoholic, but come on. Yes, everyone should go to the Midwest, the South, and the Pacific Northwest. But not to stare at the gun-toting trailer parkers in freak-show amazement. They should go to try and be this crazy thing New Yorkers claim to be such experts at (and in fact what Wolfe seems to be claiming all coast-dwellers are) called open-minded.

(And because any New Yorker who spends 30 minutes in Milwaukee automatically feels like the skinniest person on Earth. Just don't wear a white suit, top hat, and cane.)

TOM MEETS THE REAL AMERICA [Page Six]