Know what hurts Donald Trump more than Rosie O'Donnell's temper tantrums? More than knowing you want to play him for Halloween? And more than the realization that he's been pimping out daughter Ivanka's good looks to sell some condos? That anyone would think he's a mere millionaire. Which is why, when New York Times reporter Timothy L. O'Brien claimed the real estate mogul was not the billionaire he had everyone believing, but rather a commoner, with a net worth of just nine figures, The Donald fumed.

In O'Brien's 2005 book TrumpNation: The Art of Being the Donald, the author claimed Trump was worth somewhere between somewhere between $150 and $250 million, which sent Trump off the deep end and into a $5 billion (with a B!) lawsuit against the reporter for damaging his "brand and reputation." Trump wanted names. Namely, the sources who told O'Brien that he was such a peasant. O'Brien refused, Trump took him to court, and now the results are in:

Eat it, Trump!

Just because O'Brien's book was written in a "breezy, irreverent style" does not make it a work of entertainment. Like the Today show, TrumpNation is considered a news product, thus giving O'Brien the right, under the federal Shield Law, to keep his sources — who had "direct knowledge of Donald's finances" — to himself. A three-judge panel even said so.