Remember when we predicted that Conscience of a Conservative would claw its way to the coveted #1 spot of the Times' "Most Emailed" list? Well, clearly we underestimated the public's unabashed interest in a man whose life was ruined by popcorn, which is holding steady at the top spot. Frankly, however, we're not sure what all the hullabaloo is about. Did anyone seriously think an all-popcorn diet was the way to go?

Seriously??

Don't get us wrong, we've all been peer-pressured into chipping in for the veritable bathtub of popcorn at the movies once or twice. But that's pretty much where our popcorn exposure ends.

Because, as far as we're concerned, anything that inevitably gets lodged in your throat midway through consumption, and necessitates that you gulp down a watery $18 soda simply to to prevent yourself from dying horribly from asphyxiation, lest you burden your parents with the pain/humiliation of having to explain that their beloved child actually kicked the bucket during a matinée showing of Are We There Yet?) can never, ever be a good thing.