If you're a large media company that's about to ax hoards of employees, what's the best way to deliver the news? Publicly announce the firings on a news dump Friday? Sure, but anybody can do that. Spin the layoffs as "right-sizing"? Fine, but PR speak is so transparent these days. What about blame the economy? Blaaaaand!

So, might we suggest two better alternatives that at least show you're a big media company bursting with creativity?

Option 1: Fire people one-by-one
This is going to be a little difficult if you've got hundreds, or thousands, of people to lay off at once. But the advantage here is you won't send a shock through the news cycle, scaring investors into selling stock and media blogs into announcing the end of days. This is the tactic Viacom is rumored to be trying; instead of dismissing hundreds of staffers at once, they're letting small groups of four get the notice each day. Which isn't the same as massive layoffs — they're just randomly deciding, on a case-by-case basis, that some people are no longer vital employees.

Option 2: Negate the news of massive layoffs with news of exciting developments
If your company is firing entire crowds of people, inevitably onlookers will suspect and/or conclude that all is not fiscally well with your organization. Nonsense! It doesn't have to be this way. Why not concurrently announce massive layoffs by also announcing amazing new projects and promotions? That's what Niche Media is trying. The luxury magazine publisher is said to be firing editorial and sales people across its roster of magazines — but then a piece of good news arrived in our inbox, declaring "the appointment of Editorial and Creative Directors; the expansion of its Custom Publishing division; the sealing of a major deal with Taubman Centers to produce custom publications for their top upscale retail centers for 2009; and increases in publication frequency for 2009." See how easy it is to forget about all those silly scarey tales about workforce reduction when Niche increases the number of times it'll spit out its magazines?

You're welcome.

(Niche's full announcement on the next page.)