Before last night, Britney Spears could be considered a musician. But now the jig is up. She’s just a train wreck.

The New York Times puts it most succulently: “She didn’t disappoint: she was awful.”

Even MTV can’t say that Britney was good, but they do their best to avoid plagiarizing Sarah Silverman.

With one of the most anticipated openings in VMA history, Britney Spears tried to get the party started Sunday night with a James Bond-meets-underground S&M club slither through her new single, "Gimme More." … After all that hype, a relieved-looking Brit gave a shy smile, whispered "thank you" and exited after a low-key performance that was quickly overshadowed by the likes of high-energy sets from the Foo Fighters, Chris Brown [and] Kanye.

Despite her ability to make “one of the most anticipated openings in VMA history” “low-key,” a source told People magazine that Britney is “embarrassed” after the performance.

The New York Daily News might be the cruelest to the single mother of two: Britney Spears' black bikini sparkled, but her "comeback" performance at the MTV Video Music Awards last night fell as flat as her ill-fitting blond weave.

Crosswalk.com, a religious Web site, has an open letter to Britney:

Dear Britney,
Hi! How are you? Say, I was thinking: If you can possibly afford to, you should get out of show business now.

Even Christians can’t forgive her.