US Conservatives Bravely Going After Inanimate Objects
America, America, This Is You

Emboldened by the fact that one of their own was chosen to run on the Republican ticket for the second highest office in the land, the simplest folk in America have banded together to call for the destruction of a stupid toy doll they claim spouts EVIL TERRORIST CHANTING!!!!!!!
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Yes, it's true. A recent poll of "conservatives" found that 97% of them believe this to be true. It is astonishing how stupid those racist yahoo conservatives are, isn't it? If only they could be uniformly smart and sophisticated like the "liberals." I don't believe I've ever met a gullible, stupid or naive liberal in my life! You tell 'em Jossip!