Ok, before you get your panties in a bunch and start thinking that we're heading towards some sick bikini wax joke, relax. We're just here to rip on this USA Today headline. (And Natalie Portman a little.)

As if the whole "Natalie Portman bald chick" thing wasn't so six months ago, this lame article about hanging out with the low profile celeb in The Mandarin Hotel is supposed to convey how bad-ass she is. How she's a serious actor, who doesn't do drugs, and had her head shaved in one scene shot, and loves her friends blah, blah.

And how do they convey this "not a pixie" image?

Portman is a pixie in a short-sleeved, dark blue frilly blouse, skintight jeans and silver ballerina flats, her eyes heavily made up for a day of press.

USA should've let Portman read the final copy. Her Harvard eyes may have snapped up that little snafu.

Portman's bald truth: She's no pixie [Donna Freydkin, USA TODAY]